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Feeling person
As much as I love doing writing prompts (that’s a lie, but WAS the whole reason for doing this blog) to make me actually TRY and write something creative every day instead of just journaling, I’m finding a steady diet of them is discouraging for me. I don’t consider myself a creative person and I really struggle with them. I used to think I was creative when I was teaching kindergarten. In fact, most of the time I feel like I function emotionally at a kindergartener’s level. LOL

Now as it happens, I’m crazy about quotes. I have a binder FULL of the suckers. Any quote that really resonates with me goes into that binder. I pick them up everywhere: books, Pinterest, songs, friends, movies, TV shows… In fact I have a new favorite. On the third installment of the NCIS TV franchise this season, the main character has a signature line he’s always rattling off, “Go! Learn things!” I’m in love with that line.

I’ve always felt you can learn a lot about a person by what books are on their bookshelves. I suspect it may be the same way with quotes they’re drawn to (IMHO). So I thought, why not use a quote now and then as a writing prompt? And then right off the bat this one caught my attention on Pinterest this morning.

“You are not a mess. You are a feeling person in a messy world.” I like the way “MOMASTERY” didn’t use exclamation marks at the ends of those two short sentences because it would have said to me, yes, you ARE a mess! Prone to excitability, overly dramatic, a little fearful of the world… And until the last couple years I would have said that was true for me. But I’m beginning to feel like MOMASTERY here. I AM a feeling person in a messy world. And there’s not a damn thing wrong with that. Sometimes it causes you to be really happy; other times it makes you hurt terribly.

I have a sneaking suspicion that whatever made me that way happened when I was fairly young because as far back as I can remember, my mother always described me as high-strung. I have no idea what the “inciting” event that set my high-strungedness off might have been, and I don’t actually care. It may have been traumatic, it may have been a very small thing. But whatever it was, it made me feel that you have to look below the surface of others, of situations, etc. to really see the truth and connect.

I appreciate the quote because it makes it clear that there’s nothing wrong with me, but there’s an awfully lot wrong with the world. I find myself wondering how many other people feel like they’re kind of a mess? Don’t fit in? So many folks I know put their walls up immediately when you’re with them. It can take forever to strike up any kind of a friendship. Perhaps they’re scared. Or shy. Or have something to hide. I don’t know. But it doesn’t take long before you realize they’re most comfortable keeping you at arm’s length. And that’s perfectly fine. Most people probably fall on that side of the line. But it’s always made me feel as if there’s something flawed in ME because I DON’T tend to use “walls” as a coping mechanism. Maybe that makes me a wingnut? Maybe that makes me brave? Or naïve?

I recently had the great pleasure of meeting Christina of The Rolling Writer blog. Her husband drives a semi across country while she rides shotgun, typing away as they go. I’d been emailing back and forth with her for all of maybe two weeks? It just so happened they were bringing a load to Salt Lake and had a day before they could pick up another. Christina let me know and asked if there was a way we could meet. We did. And while her hubby took advantage of the time to grab some needed sleep in the truck, she and I sat and talked over breakfast for close to three hours. It was so much fun. I’ve never talked to someone about writing for that long at one time in my life. What an interesting and well-traveled person she is.

By the end of three hours I felt like I’d known Christina for much longer than a couple weeks. And I might have missed the opportunity if I weren’t such a “messy” person. So maybe messy people are pretty good at being brave. But then, maybe I’m just full of baloney, trying to make a virtue out of something that’s really just… hm… a big mess.

Who knows? All I know for SURE is that the quote made me feel far more normal than I do on any given day. And for that I’m really grateful. We DO live in a big, wide, scary, messy world, and it’s easier sometimes to be paralyzed by all the bad stuff we see in the media, to hole up in our own lives and turn into emotional survivors rather than adventurers who brave those wilds. So all in all, I guess I’m kind of glad I’m a mess. After reading that quote I don’t have quite the same opinion of myself as I did this morning. The quote is going to go right in my binder.

Ok. I’ll stop blabbering on now, and as for the rest of this day, I’m going to go and LEARN things, courtesy of Dwayne Pride of NCIS: New Orleans. And it’s going to be a really good, messy day!