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Just when I thought there was nothing I wanted to write about, The Daily Post went and put a challenge out there yesterday about how we are like  H20. It wouldn’t leave me alone, so I wrote about it.

Thing is, I failed to mention that one of the biggest changes I’ve noticed since steam has begun to rehydrate my heart is that my heart is not only a lot bigger and fluffier (Gawd! I never thought I’d use that word!) when it comes to being accepting and loving, it also breaks a hell of a lot easier.

Does this picture bother you?

What’s wrong with this picture???

Last Saturday we celebrated
the December birthdays in my extended family. I was a little surprised and disturbed to hear my nephew’s wife say she wanted to purchase a gun to keep in their house, AND a concealed carry permit. This young couple has two boys,
one four and one two. They
just purchased their first house and are so excited. Thing is, they didn’t really think about the State Prison sitting almost in their back yard. Now D is feeling very anxious all the time. I get where she’s coming from, but his lordship and I both feel buying a gun isn’t the best idea. HL has been around guns all his life. He thinks a gun is a very dangerous thing for a panicked young mom to have about.

Then yesterday morning looking at the news, I read about the toddler in Hayden, Idaho, who took his mother’s small-caliber gun from her purse while shopping in Walmart and accidentally discharged it killing her. My son saw the look on my face and asked me what was wrong. I couldn’t say anything for a bit. My heart was just breaking for that family, but especially for that 2-year-old child who is going to have to live with that for the rest of his life.

You would think as you get older and see more and more strange and awful things (right along with some beautiful ones), nothing would surprise you. But there’s something about the vulnerability of children and animals that holds my heart captive when I read or hear things like this. And of course I was thinking about D & J and their wanting to buy a gun. Wouldn’t it be a lot less dangerous to put in a good security system? After reading that story, I’m so burdened for my nephew and his family. I hope they hear about it and it gives them pause to reconsider what they’re planning to do.

I guess I’ve been caught off guard that my heart has gotten kind of squishy the older I’ve gotten. I remember a conversation I had with my dad in his later years about abortion. I’d been working as a counselor at a Crisis Pregnancy Center and was sharing some of my thoughts with him. He flat out said he didn’t want to talk about it, that he couldn’t stand thinking about all those unwanted babies being aborted when he and my mom had waited so long to get pregnant. I didn’t understand what he was feeling then. I didn’t understand how even some thoughts and newspaper stories can simply paralyze your heart.

I get it now. And while I’m glad I’ve changed and become more patient with and tolerant of life around me, sometimes I sure wish I was able to compartmentalize some of my feelings a bit more. That would be healthier, wouldn’t it?