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My mind is fuzzy today,
won’t connect with
my morning devotion
about living life in “wildness.”
Wildness… What’s that?
The idea is foreign to me.

Living life with abandon?
Living life out loud?
These are paths
I’ve never been able,
or at least allowed myself,
to follow.

Not me. Not Calen.

Always, always there’s
something that holds me back.
Something that keeps all my
“ponies” in their corral so that
I can’t ride at a gallop across
the open prairies of my mind;
can’t feel the wind on my face;
the power beneath my saddle
when my soul — momentarily
lifted free from the earth — soars,
my spirit strong, inquisitive,
able to take a full, deep breath at last.

Some of us must be destined
to be watchers at the windows of life,
not participants,  not adventurers.
What we live is not life out loud.
It’s duty, respectability, responsibility;
it’s being “good” and always doing
what’s right, what’s expected of us —
what’s best…
for everyone else.


I wonder what’s beyond
the hills I can see from my
little, fenced-in life constrained
by all those compelling obligations.
Of all the ponies in my stifling corral
is there not even one wild enough
to bear me over the weathered fence,
into the far horizon where
I can see what’s on the other side?

Probably not.

I’ve gotten very, very good
at taming the wild ponies that
wander into my corral…