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We each have many types of love relationships — parents, children, spouses, friends. And they’re not always with people; you may love an animal, or a place. Is there a single idea or definition that runs through all the varieties of “love”?


This is an easy one for me. I knew what my definition of love was even before his lordship and I read Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts. It’s quality time coupled with words of affirmation.

clockI don’t care how many gifts I get, or how many times HL does the dishes for me. I don’t even care that much about all the hot and bothered cuddling. If we aren’t finding the time to be fully present with one another, the other things don’t mean squat to me. Affirmation is important, too, though it can be hard for some folks to learn that skill if they’ve never seen it modeled.

But if you really love someone — be it a partner, a child, a parent, a pet, a notebook ( 😉 ), then you should have a desire to spend quality time with whomever or whatever the object of your affection is. That’s where the relationship grows and matures. (In my humble opinion.)

Is that to say HL and I get it right all the time? Oh heck no! But at least we have something to shoot for. And, btw, his love language is NOT the same as mine! If you haven’t read Gary Chapman’s book, we found it very helpful in figuring out how to meet each others’ needs better. I highly recommend it.