Since Stephen Dunn was my Friday Favorite this week, I thought it was fair game to post another poem by him that I ran across while searching for this week’s author.
One night they both needed different things
of a similar kind: she, solace; he, to be consoled.
So after a wine-deepened dinner
when they arrived at their house separately
in the same car, each already had been failing
the other with what seemed
an unbearable delay of what felt due.
What solace meant to her was being understood
so well you’d give it to her before she asked.
To him, consolation was a network
of agreements: say what you will
as long as you acknowledge what I mean.
In the bedroom they undressed and dressed
and got into bed. The silence was what fills
a tunnel after a locomotive passes through.
Days later the one most needy finally spoke.
“What’s on TV tonight?” he said this time,
and she answered, and they were okay again.
Each, forever, would remember the failure
to give solace, the failure to be consoled.
And many, many future nights
would find them turning to their respective sides
of the bed, terribly awake and twisting up
the covers, or, just as likely, moving closer
and sleeping forgetfully the night long.
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Colleen Keehne said:
Sad. But I think you see this in a lot long term marriages/relationships. It’s not that we love each other less. It’s that we’ve become so accustomed to each others moods and nuances, that we forget to connect at times. Something even I should work harder at.
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That’s so true. It’s not that we don’t love each other, it’s that the wall of “unsaid things” keeps getting higher and higher and we try to climb over it and end up lying exhausted on the ground because we slip and fall and never make it to the top. Yeah, better communication from day one would help.
I like him.
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