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blogging101, Creative Writing, Family, Journaling, Memories & Reflections, Writing 101, Writing Prompts
If I could pick one person to be commemorated on a day dedicated to him/her alone, I would choose my mom.
Now those of you who know me a bit probably may be scratching your head as you have figured out by now I didn’t have the best relationship with my mom. For one thing, we were too bloomin’ much alike. For another, she was such a private person she would never share anything about her life before us or about herself in any regard, so we just plain didn’t understand her. Her stock response, even as she got older, was there was nothing good to tell. She had a rough childhood and a bad first marriage. So to us mom was just what she was. An unhappy, neglected wife (though it took me years to figure that out), a dutiful though somewhat distant mother, a hard worker (she worked for the Defense Depot in Ogden), and a very quixotic friend.
Actually she was a very quixotic person, period, which was part of my problem with her. One minute she’d be fine, the next minute pitching a fit about God knows what. She was also, despite her being held in such high regard at work, a very shy person. THAT part I DID figure out not long before she passed away.
When my dad passed, she was lost. Though their relationship was stormy, I think part of it was just the way they loved each other. I know, that makes no sense. I didn’t begin to understand my mom until years after she was gone. Took an act of Tolkien (you thought I was going to say God, didn’t you — well I suppose God had a hand in it, too, who else would have moved me to see The Fellowship of the Rings 43 times…) for me to be able to move past the hurts of our relationship and put things in perspective. And when that happened, I began to understand MYSELF a whole lot better, too.
There have been many times over the years I thought it would be great to just jump ship and take off on my own for a while. I’m pretty sure my mom felt that way a lot, too, as unhappy as she was. But there was one thing that always stuck in my mind about her. Despite her misery (some of it her own making, some of it not) she never left us. Oh, she threatened to a few times, but she didn’t. She was always there. That’s not to say it wasn’t miserable at times having her there, but she stayed. It was a choice she made.
And for that reason alone, because she gave up everything she ever wanted in her life to stay with a husband who was a philanderer and raise her kids, I think my mom deserves a day dedicated to her and all mothers who sacrifice so much of their lives to be there for their kids. Mom certainly didn’t have a great temperament, but she turned out to be a pretty darn good role model.
So despite how things were between us, I reckon you deserve a day all your own, mom. Wherever you are, I hope you can read this! I love you…
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The Daily Post Jul 12, 2015
Daily Prompt: Honorific
If you could pick one person to be commemorated on a day dedicated to him/her alone, who would you choose?
Impromptu Promptlings 
Late to the party here, but going back through your posts as I really relate to so much you post about. I have been thinking about doing my own Mom post, but have been putting it off, as we had such a strange relationship while she was living, but as I age, I understand her better than I ever did, and have forgiven much.
Thanks so much for this.
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but as I age, I understand her better than I ever did, and have forgiven much. And that is exactly why I wrote this post. Thanks for hopping back and having a read. And be sure to write that post. I want to read it!
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That was a very touching, and gracious post! I understand well, though it was different parent that I would have a difficult time honoring. I think there were several similarities in your story… My mother (with whom I had an amazing relationship) also was so close to leaving at two times that I know about, but stayed.
One thing came to mind about the ways of our parents and how different things were for them than they are for us – regardless of our own hardships. I’m not saying it was always true – I know for a fact it wasn’t – but life was very different back then, and I always think it was harder. The kind of hardships our parents sought to help us not face, in their own awkward way. At times, I feel their own personal journey created barriers to their compassion, but they managed to live according to a code (right or wrong) which was conditioned from the youngest times in their lives.
Compared to my parents, I feel like I’d fail miserably in the world they grew up in were I dropped there from here.
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their own personal journey created barriers to their compassion… That right there is probably the understatement of the year. It’s too bad we don’t learn that till we get older. It would make life so much more understandable. {{{Fim }}}
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“Honoring thy father and mother” requires a real and honest appreciation of who they are/were, not just saying yes mam or sir all one’s life. A kitten and a pit bull and a rattle snake are all honored differently because they have different natures. You have provided a true example of what honoring one’s parents means. Well done!
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Awe thanks, my sweet buddy. I hope she knows I do the visiting in her honor, too. She was pretty lonely in her last days.. Wish I could fix that. ❤
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