This is an honest-to-God conversation we had at breakfast this morning. In keeping with the mood of what I wrote yesterday and my music video for Fimnora Westcaw’s Monday Music Medicine Show in which I commented that when you’ve been married for a long time things seem to settle into the same old same old routine, I just couldn’t bare to not poemalize it! I sure hope this just indicates a summer slump rather than a portent of things to come! If a portent, I’m scared to death of retirement!
* * * * *
I rose from the table to fix his morning toast.
My brows pleated crinkles down the bridge of my nose. “I don’t think there’s any butter out.”
“Yes, I think there is,” said his lordship.
“Well, I didn’t put it out last night, did you?”
“No, I didn’t put it out.”
“Well, there probably isn’t any out, then.”
“Yes, there’s some out. Here it is,” he said gesturing to the butter dish on the table.
“Well, you dried the dishes for me last night, did you put it out then?” I asked.
“No, I didn’t put it out.”
“Well, I didn’t put it out, either.”
“Maybe Bran put it out.”
“I can’t imagine he’d put it out. Why would he?”
“Maybe he put it out because he wanted to use it.”
“For what? He doesn’t ever use butter. See there! It’s a whole new cube. There’s none gone. I don’t think he put it out.”
He sliced off a square from the end of the cube, and scratched it across his toast. “Whoever put it out, put it out last night. It’s soft.”
Returning to the table, I sipped my tomato juice, pondering the mystery of it.
Suddenly my breath caught in my chest. Dear God, I despaired, is this what our life has come down to? The excitement of not knowing who put the stupid, d**n butter out?”
* * * * *
I kid you not. That’s pretty close to exactly how the conversation went! We just sat there and stared at each other while he nibbled on his toast. Then I finally got up and grabbed the mysterious butter to make his sandwich for lunch.
Lordy! I need another writing class. Help!
You know, if you send that in to Saturday Night Live, they’d be able to make a skit out of it. That’s making lemonade out of the sour grapes that were in your house. Of course, the gobblins who reside there might have put it out to see what would happen when you were at breakfast this morning? They’re pretty good at stuff like that.
I don’t mean to make light of the sense of a crumbling life, but that might be the only way to get beyond it – though writing about it was a very good idea.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well you’re a fairy! If I can believe in you I can believe in goblins! “I DO believe in goblins. I DO believe in goblins. I DO believe in goblins…” Perhaps I should have you stop by and sprinkle some fairy dust around just in case they come back? 😉 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Actually there’s a way to send them packing. It’s a bit of a ritual, but you get two bowls; one filled with mud, and the other filled clean, clear water. You sit in front of the one with mud and push your hands into it. Then speak about what trouble your gobblins are causing. When you’re done, you say outloud, “Enough is enough of this gobblin mud!” and pull your hands out of the mud, and put them in the water, and wash them off, dry them, and know that the gobblins were kicked out – for the time being. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
For the time being? Oh well. What’s the use then? They’ll just be back. 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
I think all couples have interesting conversations like this and if I could remember stuff, I would come up with an example of our daily conversations 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well you’ll have to take note next time and share it with us. LOL I still don’t know who put the butter out, though I’m leaning toward Judy’s suggestion that I probably did and forgot! That happens a lot these days! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
We have the silliest conversations and I love it. We have nothing serious to fight about, so we argue about who forgot to put what on the shopping list. We both don’t remember sh** so we blame it on each other :-).
LikeLiked by 1 person
A week ago I found myself having a conversation with the two Goldfish we have “Holmes and Watson”, is that like your butter incident?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Well it might have been better even — IF they had talked back! Did they??? 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
You know what sometimes I imagine Daisy talking to me so could be I even thought the fish were having a conversation with me. There is a reason why I have a sign in my Kitchen “Welcome to the Nut House”.
LikeLiked by 2 people
LOL Are you all a certain kind, or is a bag of mixed nuts? 😉 And btw, I DO believe our pets talk to us. We just have to learn to communicate without words. So who am I to say you didn’t have a conversation with your fish! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Funny.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Desperate! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL. I’m so with you GF! Chuck and I have these same types of conversations sometimes. All you can do is roll your eyes and laugh it off…silently..’cuz if you laugh out loud they (the guys) get all wonky! 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
You would have laughed. I sat there so serious as if I were pondering the fate of the world! What does that say about MY day-to-day existence??? LOL! We need to come over and see you guys! 😀
LikeLike
Anytime GF!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I had much the same conversation regarding a bag of missing keys…We never did resolve who placed them in the drawer with the spare batteries and extension cords!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Doesn’t it drive you nuts when you know darn well someone isn’t being honest? Like when one of my living room lamps got broken and it was just the kids home, but NEITHER of them broke it! What do you do? Roll your eyes and move on! 🙂
LikeLike
Well the thing that scares me is that perhaps I am the one putting all these things in the wrong place and am just having lapses of memory!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
LikeLiked by 1 person
OMG this seriously made me laugh out loud. You two need a vacation so you have something to talk about other than butter! Good grief!!! LOL
LikeLiked by 1 person
I guess it’s a good thing we’re going to Jackson with you guys in a couple weeks! 😀 I’m sitting here right now listening to Bran talk to Siri (his new phone). He just asked her to play a song by Ricky Nelson of all people. So she’s playing “That’s All.” I asked him if she was his new partner. He said, well at least SHE came to hear his sermon Sunday! This whole house has gone mad!
LikeLike
The Case of the Appearing Butter 🙂
Maybe either of you put it out and forgot it later. Or maybe he’s pulling your leg 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL! Good point! He does have a British sense of humor and I AM always forgetting to put it out. I’ll have to ask him. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person