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blogging101, Creative Writing, Journaling, Memories & Reflections, Spiritual Dragonfly, Writing 101
I’ve recently met the loveliest Dragonfly on the blogs and have been spending some time over at her place, Spiritual Dragonfly (which, btw, has the most beautiful blog header I’ve ever seen), culling through her back posts which I am enjoying a lot! I keep running across topics I feel like blogging about. One such post is Alone where she talks about how she feels about her alone time. Well it just so happens I’m ALONE this morning. Lord Drollery is off to Men’s Bible Study and Bran is at work, so it seems like it’s a good time to tackle the subject.
So how do I feel about being alone? I LOVE it! No wait! I HATE it! Well, no. I LOVE it… I guess that means I’m kind of ambivalent about it. The truth is, it depends on what KIND of alone time it is.
My favorite alone times are late at night or early in the morning when his lordship and Bran are tucked safely in bed and I can let worrying about them go without feeling guilty. (Funny that I don’t struggle with that with Stef and the kids. I guess they’re so far away I figure what could I do for them anyway. Besides, worrying about them is Jesse’s job now.) Same goes for if they’re both at work. Bran works days on Monday, and that’s my favorite weekday at the moment as I can sit and journal and blog all I want without interruption.
The other kind of alone or “me” time that I like is when I go on Artist Dates (as writing coach Julia Cameron of The Artist’s Way refers to them). It’s when you take yourself off somewhere and just soak up your surroundings, fill up your spiritual well so you have more inspiration in your life to draw from. I love going shopping for stickers to put in my journal by important things. I like going to office supply stores, book stores, or sitting by the big fountain at the hospital and writing. And I don’t mind going to the movies by myself. (I saw Fellowship of the Rings 53 times by myself! REALLY! Gollum had his ring, I had my movie…) But Starbucks is my favorite place of inspiration, though. You can see so many interesting people there and overhear some great conversations. 😀
I don’t mind being alone. I’m good with my own company and can usually find something to do. I used to meditate a lot, but I’m alone so seldom any more with Bran working only part time, that I grab those rare times for something I feel is more needful (though I’m beginning to ask myself if that meditation isn’t even MORE needful).
That leaves the times I HATE being alone. At night! Always! One of my biggest concerns is what I will do if Lord Drollery passes from this life before I do. I am NOT one of those people who could live alone. I know I would be sleeping all day and awake all night. I hate being alone at our cabin in the Uintahs when the guys have gone fishing. For reasons I haven’t been able to fathom, it spooks me to stay there by myself.
And I hate going anywhere by myself at night. Let’s just say I’ve watched too many murder mysteries over the years. My imagination gets carried away when I’m alone in the dark. (There’s that dark theme again.)
But I think it’s important to note that I seldom get lonely. If that happens I always have friends who are more than willing to go get a cuppa at Starbucks and visit for awhile.
So I don’t MIND being alone. In fact, I need it sometimes to recharge my batteries. Were I to live by the ocean as Dragonfly does, I have a feeling I’d be enjoying time alone a lot more. I’m jealous! But for now I make do as best I can. One of these days I’m going to get brave enough to go off by myself for a weekend somewhere and sit in a hotel room and just write. I’m trying to get up the nerve! In the meantime, however, I’m good with where I’m at. I just wish Bran would find a full-time day job! I really wouldn’t know how to act!
How about you guys? Do you LIKE being alone? HATE it? Tell us what you feel!
Impromptu Promptlings 
I have been my own best friend ever since I knew senses. It is fantastic to love “self” more than anyone/anything else as there would be no chance of disappointment, depression or heart break. Loving self is perhaps the best gift anybody can bestow to oneself. Spiritually, the more we love ourselves the more we will be closure to god as god is everywhere including with in us. This is an amazing read and it has helped me to introspect over my journey thus far “in love with I”. Many thanks to the writer.
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Too many of us try to love our neighbors without loving ourselves first. It’s a hard thing to learn. Sorry it took so long to answer. Been AWOL for a couple months. Thanks so much for stopping by!
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Pingback: Where do you write? | Impromptu Promptlings
I rarely get to be alone unless I’m writing. So I suppose I spend a lot of time writing so I’m alone quite a lot. I love it!
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What’s your writing space like?
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I absolutely love being al-one. 🙂
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There is a great truth in what you say, Zareen. The hard part is understanding what that means. I don’t think a lot of people do. You’re very wise, my friend. ❤
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Notwithstanding the time spent with my children, Bonaparte and our little rescue rascal, Chippy, my favorite companion is me! I treasure my alone time and always have–even as a child. When I’m in the company of me, I can do what I want. I have no arguments or disagreements with me. I can take myself out to a restaurant or movie and just enjoy my aloneness–it’s different than being lonely. Nice post!!!
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I so agree. It IS different than being lonely. It’s a heck of a lot less stressful than being around people (most of the time — even on a good day!).
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I treasure my ‘alone’ time. I always have done as I can decide what I want to do and when I’m going to do it. My other half retired almost two years ago now, so ‘alone’ time is even more precious really. I’ve always been a thinker and now I’m working on getting my thoughts down on paper in novel form. I’ve also been toying with plonking myself down in a local cafe and letting the muse carry me to wherever ….
I really must try this for real 😀
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Oh, Ruth! Yes, please do try it. It’s great for warming up exercises. Just pick a person or thing there and write something about it. You’ve probably always been disciplined about your time. You were a teacher, if I remember right?
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Yes, that’s right 😀. I’m always managing my time with lists – I’ll have to ensure I have a couple of hours pencilled in for people watching now – great idea and you’re right, cafes can be the most amazing places to pick up snippets of conversations which can be built upon, or mannerisms that can suggest a particular character.
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Wonderful post and appreciate finding Spiritual Dragony from here too. I don’t mind being alone although I have a dog so not quite alone. I looked after my family for 20+ years with little time or energy for myself. I think I prefer the freedom of living alone now, especially while ill and needing to put myself first ( actually second to the dog but much more easygoing than my ex!) Hope you’re having a good weekend 🙂
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I’m seeing that a lot of folks enjoy and need the “me” time the older we get. Makes me wonder, though, if the younger people get dumped on when they say they need time for themselves, like people think they’re being self-centered. But life is so much more complicated for families these days. When I consider my daughter’s family there’s not much personal, private time to go around. I guess that’s why later, when we finally have come to that place where we begin to reexamine our lives we are not only surprised at what we find, but sometimes filled with regrets. Would be better if we realized that sooner rather than later. I’m sorry to hear you’re not well. I hope it’s something that can be remedied. Also hope you’re having a great weekend.
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I too don’t like being alone at night. I prefer knowing that someone else is in the house. During the day I am often alone in my room and I actually enjoy it. It gives me a chance to read and write. I have thought of going to a coffee shop by myself but I haven’t done that yet.
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That’s one of my favorite things to do. I have a hard time reading there because there’s a lot to notice, but I could sit and write all day. i heartily recommend it!
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I shall have to give it a try. When you do go there to write do you use a notebook or laptop/tablet?
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I journal by hand in a top-bound spiral notebook. Keeps the wire out of the way. So that’s usually what I do. I think if I took a laptop or tablet it wouldn’t feel as much like just laid-back, enjoy the moment time. But that’s just me. I guess you’d have to experiment to see what fits your personality best. But then that’s have the fun — the experimenting. I do hope you give it a try.
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Yes I do want to give it a try. Thank you so much for the tips.
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I can entertain myself fairly well and do enjoy or perhaps need little alone time. Since starting to blog, some of that alone time seems filled with the company of bloggers! At night, I much prefer to be with my sweetheart, but as we live in different countries, that’s not always possible!
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That sucks. Those long distance relationships are hard. Thank God for things like Skype, eh?
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Yes – it makes a big difference.
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Where is he, if you’re able to share that…
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He’s in the kitchen at the moment but more often he’s in Mississippi – quite a contrast.
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How on earth did you meet? That’s a far piece of world in between there! 🙂
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Since we both retired, alone time doesn’t just happen. It has to be constructed. Doors must be shut. Walks must be taken. I need alone time to recharge and re-center myself.
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Yep. And to be honest I’m scared to death of having to entertain his lordship 24/7 when he retires in two years. I already DID that with two kids. I know how right you are, Lorie.
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Luckily mine doesn’t expect to be entertained. And we don’t eat the same breakfast or lunch (different tastes) so he fixes his own. But there was some adjustment. We each have outside interests/hobbies and until now a big enough house to get away from each other. This temporary apartment is just a bit small for the long term. Need one more “away room,” I think.
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Oh, I take it you’ve been downsizing? Do you each have groups of friends you hang with?
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Yes, but hubby is a bit of a loner, so he doesn’t have/need as many. And daughter, son in law and granddaughter are here now after being 1000 miles away for years. So life is full enough.
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I have always loved it when everybody has left the house, and I have it to myself. 🙂 I don’t remember disliking being alone. I think it may be more, disliking not having something to do – the fun kind. But I love silence, and being out in Nature, alone, Communing with All That Is. 🙂
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I think on those rare occasions when I’m outside, having something to do never crosses my mind because there’s always something to see. I guess that’s one reason why nature is so healing. You’re right, Fim, about the lack of having something to do being the problem inside.
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Lovely post and image! I think it all depends on the circumstances. For writing, I have to be alone. And I prefer to run alone. But for everything else, I prefer to be with people! 🙂
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I’m that way, too. I have a hard, hard time writing when there’s someone else in the room. I think that’s why I’m curious about going away to a hotel for a weekend to see what happens. I have a 90,000 manuscript that’s finished and needs edited. I can’t focus here.
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Sounds like you need that weekend away! And cheers to your manuscript! That’s fantastic!
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Ahhhh….night time alone. I experienced that when hubby had to go to Alaska for 3 weeks. Up till that point, I’d NEVER been alone for that amount of time. I cried the entire first day he was gone. It was just me and Calee. 2 days after he left, we got dumped on with 2 feet of snow….(we left PA for VA to leave the snow behind!!!). So, I was snowed in and alone!! I fell into a routine and actually enjoyed it….even the nights. I actually got into the habit of doing a p.m. yoga routine (which now that I’m mentioning it, need to get back into…).
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I have a feeling you’re one of those unique people who can always find SOMETHING interesting to do. Do you ever watch TV?
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LOL…yes i do watch tv or Netflix…more so in winter…I love a good House Hunters marathon or Chopped…..I have a few fav movies on DVDs that I can pop in……..
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I enjoy being alone some of the time because it lets me think ideas through and follow trains of thought I wouldn’t normally. But similarly being in good company is enjoyable too; I think you need to have a proportion of time in both company and alone.
Best, Matt
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I think you’re absolutely right, Matt. It’s far too easy to become reclusive. Especially if you’re not an outdoorsy person. The older I get, the easier it is for me to stay home. Thank God I have a group of “homies” (6 friends) that make me get off my carcass and go do things. They did that today, as a matter of fact!
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