Today was one of those rare mornings when I was out like a light when Lord Drollery’s alarm went off. When I finally woke up, it was already after 8:30 and he had left for work. Had a hard time focusing, so blindly felt my way to the toity, walked in and shut the door. That’s when IT happened. As I looked down it ran right between my feet. I nearly gave the Rocky Mountain Quick Step a new definition because I thought it was one big *ss spider. (We’ve already established in earlier posts I have a dread of them!)
I realized quickly, however, it was too substantial for that. It was a mouse. Now we get mice in the house now and then, but usually in the winter when they’re trying to get warm, and they almost always settle in under the range. I can only surmise that Miss Twitch brought us home a present and left it on the doorstep where it likely came in when his lordship let her in late last night.
(By the way, as I was walking into the toity I was checking my text messages. Had a couple new ones this morning. However, I accidentally hit the delete button when the mouse ran between my feet, so if you texted me this morning, sorry, but I didn’t get it. I have no clue if you can undelete them from this stupid contraption! Please text me back.)
Anyway, I stood there and watched the poor little thing nearly have a heart attack trying to find some place to hide. I did NOT realize mice could jump that bloomin’ high! At that point I just backed out and shut the door. I called his lordship, who was NOT happy to have to leave work to come home to wrangle a mouse, but I didn’t want it to get loose in the house.
I woke Bran up and we struck on the idea of pulling a Clark Griswold move ala Christmas Vacation when they chased a squirrel out the front door. We rolled up two large rugs and made a path (which I know darn good and well that little bugger could have jumped over had it wanted!) to the stairs. We were just getting ready to open the door when the white knight showed up. He grumbled at our plan (only because HE didn’t think of it first!).
Armed with a large bowl and a copy of Smithsonian magazine (he asked for a big can which nearly made me pass out), he pushed the towels I had rolled up and put in front of the door threshold out of the way and went in. Took him a minute to find it, but when he did it ran right up the shower curtain and was playing circus tight-rope walker on the shower curtain rod. (Had I been in there at that point, I’m pretty sure the toity would have been unnecessary!)
Gathering his courage, he took the magazine and knocked the little sucker into the bowl thinking to slap the Smithsonian on top to keep him/her in. He didn’t reckon on it being such a jumper!
Out it came and headed for the hallway and through the rolled up rugs. The front screen door was blocked open, and slick as snot that little critter was down the steps and out the door in a blink of an eye. Drollery hurriedly shut the door to keep it out, but Bran said he figured the poor thing was in downtown Ogden by the time his lordship reached the bottom of the stairs.
I was absolutely delighted that our Clark Griswold-type plan worked and we didn’t have to use a mousetrap to kill the scared little beggar. I’ve been practicing a whole Zen “catch-and-release” thing with critters in the house, especially spiders — though I sincerely DOUBT I would have tried to catch one THAT big! Besides, I think it would have turned into a stand off with the mouse not coming near the trap for days, and I was not about to have to run up to Smith’s by the highway every time I needed to use the bathroom! Not to mention not showering for days!
So just remember, if you ever need to catch a critter, drag out a copy of Christmas Vacation and watch it first for inspiration. You’ll get some good ideas.
And here I thought I’d have nothing to write about today!