The first year of marriage is such a learning experience… Our first Valentine’s Day turned out to be quite a fiasco because of my romantic impatience and Drollery’s inability to communicate well.
It was a Wednesday. Despite working all day, I had bought Drollery a Valentine’s gift and planned a surprise dinner complete with steak and candlelight. (That was the year I found out his lordship doesn’t like to EAT by candlelight ’cause he can’t see what he’s eating!)
He stumbled in from work a bit late and I was all excited to give him his gift, a hand-tooled leather wallet. We sat down to eat (after turning the overhead lights on) and during dessert (chocolate cake with cherry frosting) I gave him his present. He loved it and thanked me profusely several times. And then I waited…
…for MY Valentine’s gift.
But Drollery just went on eating his dessert. After a few minutes I naturally figured he was going to surprise me with it later. So I pretended to be laid back about it. And I waited…
…until time to go to bed. Nothing. I was so hurt. Not a word from him about a present. My hurt turned into anger and my thought was (bet you guessed!), “Well if he thinks there’s going to be a roll in the hay tonight HE has another think coming!” I went to bed and went to sleep.
And the next morning I cried and cried until he asked me what was wrong. Honestly, men can be so dense sometimes (sorry, Drollery). After I’d cried AND hollered AND accused the poor man of not caring that I was hurt, he finally explained to me that there WAS something he was getting me for Valentine’s Day, but he didn’t have the money to get it until Friday, payday.
I was still hurt because he hadn’t bothered to explain the night before, but I calmed down and apologized for having a meltdown. (Unfortunately that set up a pattern in our relationship of me taking on the blame for his poor communication skills — which we’re still working on…)
Friday evening he came home bearing THE gift. And it was beautiful. It was a laser carved, acrylic Rondell. It’s kind of hard to see in the picture (even with a dark book behind it), but the words say More than yesterday, less than tomorrow. And I started bawling all over again.
It was a difficult holiday for us. We started to learn about communication that day, and I suppose that was the best gift of all. I can’t say we have it all sorted out yet, even after nearly 44 years of marriage, but it’s definitely better and we continue to learn. What I can say is that I was so humbled by the beautiful gift he gave me that it took me years to get over the embarrassment. In fact, not a Valentine’s Day rolls around that I don’t relive that first one. Sometimes, I’ve found, growing and maturing can be preceded by a lot of hurt feelings and stupidity… But I reckon those are the kinds of lessons one never forgets!
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THEDAILYPOST Nov 28, 2015
DAILY PROMPT: Humble Pie
Tell us about a time you found out after the fact that you’d been mistaken and you had to eat a serving of humble pie.