My goodness! We seem to have a theme about CHANGE emerging at Impromptu Promptlings today. And sure enough, when I opened the Daily Calm, there was another quote about change. And I think it’s something I already learned this past year while sitting at the mouth of my heart’s soul cave watching the stars with Plato.
The quote is by Kathleen Norris, whose name is ringing all kinds of bells for me, but I’m not sure why. Must check that out. Hang on… Back! I should have known. She is a poet! No doubt I’ve read some of her work. At any rate, her quote is:
Disconnecting from change
does not recapture the past.
It loses the future.
This jumped out at me (and Percy, too) because of a comment I’d made this morning on one of my posts to Hariatahema (onpurpose) while we were discussing journaling. She was puzzling over why we get on the internet and have blogs rather than just writing in our journals.
I only had to think about it for a second to know the answer for me. I said:
That’s a very good question. I asked myself that a lot in the beginning. But I think the answer for me is I kept getting stuck in the same place in my head in my journal. For years I’ve done a morning pages journal (Moodlings) a la Julia Cameron. But there were just some things I kept going back to. I finally realized I needed some new perspectives on those things. That’s why I’m here, AND why I keep my blog JUST on Word Press. I have broken out of a lot of those stuck places this year in talking to others on here who are struggling with the same type things. Several folks that I’ve gotten pretty close to (up to phone calls now) have been instrumental in helping with that. So that’s my reason, as it were.
For years I’ve lamented the fact that I chose (yes, it was MY choice) to put my interests on hold when we had a family. It was the right decision for me at the time. It took us six years to start that family, and I would not have wanted to miss any small detail of my kids’ lives. I just always figured there’d be time later for me to do my own thing after they were out of the house and on their own. What I DIDN’T figure on was getting older (duh!) and not having the funds necessary to to chase after those illusive dreams. That had left me in a place where I felt I HAD to hold onto the past because there really wasn’t much of a different future in the wind for me, and that role was now firmly cemented in my comfort zone.
I think that’s at least ONE of the reasons I kept getting stuck in THAT valley on my journey. I just never considered that you can’t recapture the past without forfeiting the future, that the sustenance of your soul will eventually run out if you’re not continually tilling your earth and planting new crops. Farmers know you can’t keep planting the same crops over and over again in the same place as it depletes the soil, leeches the nutrients out of it. People are like that, too! I think that’s why I’ve been so restless. I needed to practice a little “crop rotation.”
The other thing farmers know is, sometimes it’s necessary to let the ground lie fallow for a year or so that it may rest and be restored to fertility. And that’s what I think I’ve been doing this past year. Letting my soil rest so I can become more creative and (maybe?) adventurous.
Am I ready yet to get out there in the big wide world and find some new fangled crops to plant? I guess only time will tell. But even IF the time is not quite right, at least now I KNOW why I kept getting stuck in that journal…
All we an say is, change isn’t for sissies! Right, Percy? (You can’t tell from where you are, but he’s hopping up and down on the Chromebook as if I’ve found a treasure! 😀 )
Till the next time the Daily Calm calls us, may the winds be with you!