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blogging101, Creative Writing, Faith and Writing, Journaling, Lent 2016, Quotes, Reflections, Writing 101, Writing Prompts
Lent Photo-A-Day (February 10 – March 27, 2016)
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Day 35 — Fear
This is another word I know inside out. I’m an extremely anxious person. Or as my mom was fond of saying (as she looked over her glasses at me), I am high strung. I always have been. Loud noises make me jump. Being outside alone after dark has been a fear of mine since I was quite young. I struggled with night terror well into my adult life. Staying alone at night!!! (That’s a biggie!) And winding up in a nursing home with muscle spasms in my legs and pushing and pushing the call button and no one coming to help is like my worst nightmare.
A lot of people have asked me if what I’m really afraid of is death. The answer to that is no. My future is secure. When it comes to death it’s the process itself that might cause me to be anxious — IF it bothered me at all. For me fear is more like the day-to-day stuff I don’t know. But I can say without a doubt that “living so much in the future” is a big culprit when it comes to fear in my life.
Part of my on-going inner work from 2015 is to learn to live in the moment. If I can master that principle, I think a LOT of the fear will take care of itself. I can honestly say that being in the Care Ministry at church and visiting my ladies — Eunice, Mona, Patricia, Donna — has helped me come to grips with the realization that even as we age we learn to adjust and take our fears in stride. It’s been a terrific experience for me. But then I suspect that’s why God put it in the pastor’s heart to ask me to be a part of that.
So while I’m still learning to deal with fears and anxieties one a day at a time, I’m also concentrating on the fact that today is all there is, and I need to make it the best day I can.
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The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear,
and the oldest and strongest kind of fear
is fear of the unknown.
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H. P. Lovecraft
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Picture Credit: sleep.lovetoknow.com
Well said. Death has never bothered me much either it is how I will die that is what concerns me. I know there is an afterlife and that it will be a far better place for me than this has been. Enjoyed that so much.
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Fear, I know only too well. However, your idea of living in the moment is one of the most important ways of managing the situation. Another is, for me, not to fight it; not to try not to feel it. That only makes it bigger. Or seem bigger, at any rate.
As of today four days left and then it’s OVA (over if you’re not translating for the Iron Chef). But so you know, either way, and no matter what you write, you’re words are always interesting to read.
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I know you’ve struggled with a lot of anxiety in the past. I’m glad you figured out the best ways to handle it. {{{Fim}}}
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It’s still a struggle. Going through treatment, not to mention dealing with aging, has a way of bringing to the forefront some of my bigger fears from days gone by. But one day at a time, like you said.
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Okay, I guess I’m the minority — I don’t want your blog to go back to “normal.” I am feeling these posts with all of my heart. More Lent, please!
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LOL I have to admit, Lori, these posts have made me feel like I’m walking a fine line. It was never my intent for this blog to be religious. Spiritual, yes, and fun! But these Lenten posts have kicked my butt. And I’m always SO deeply aware of saying too much about my own faith crisis issues. I really take it seriously about not making anyone else stumble. Thus they’ve been very taxing for me. I’m glad to hear you’re getting something out of them. Sometimes I wonder what the heck I’m going on about! I make Drollery read them before I post ’em so at least I know I’m not coming across like a fanatic or something. Got enough of them in this world. 😮
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BTW I am so glad when Lent will be over and your block will go back to normal
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(Shhh… Me, too. It’s starting to feel more like a chore than fun. I guess I shouldn’t say that, eh?)
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You almost lost me over that.
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You mean it being about fear?
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“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”
― John Lennon
I am too curious to be fearful, always have been.
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I’ve read Lennon’s words before. He was ahead of his time, wasn’t he? As to me, I always get caught up wondering about the origin of a fear. Part of me feel like if I could unravel that initiating event, I could free myself of the fear. Especially that bloomin’ night terror. It’s downright embarrassing to be 64 and STILL fighting that from time to time!!! 😮
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Maybe you are afraid of yourself and what you could be?
Yes, Lennon was ahead of his time.
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Well, I do think you’re partly right about that. I’m afraid of being out of control for darn sure!
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You know, I had a meltdown at the dentist’s once when they tried to give me gas when they pulled my two wisdom teeth. As soon as I couldn’t feel my mouth and face anymore I totally freaked out and started screaming for them to stop!!! Poor Mike thought I was going to have a heart attack right there and then!!! He never suggested it again. My attitude is “Just give me the damn shot already!!!”
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The interesting thing about fear ( or any other emotion for that matter) is that it begets more. What we put out attracts more of the same back just like a magnet.Learning to control our thoughts is SO important – because we really do create our reality with them !
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It all sounds so simple — until I try it. I think I need to take a course!!! 🙂
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Have you heard of the Violet Flame? You can invoke it to transmute negative energy into Light – on anything, anywhere, even long distance. Try using it to clear your chakras – esp. solar plexus, heart and root 🙂
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Can you explain more? I’ve not heard of that.
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I have very little fear, ever. But the interesting thing about life is that you never know what’s around the next corner.
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Geez I wish I could feel that way. We’re going to the British Isles in 18 bloomin’ months and I’m already nervous about it. Sighs and rolls eyes… Thank God for my Xanax!
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