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blogging101, Creative Writing, Faith and Writing, Journaling, Lent 2016, Memories & Reflections, Quotes, Robin Williams, Writing 101, Writing Prompts
Lent Photo-A-Day (February 10 – March 27, 2016)
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Day 43 — Grief
We’ve already had the word Sorrow on this challenge. And even before that I had blogged about the greatest sorrow I feel I’ve had in my life. But for me Grief is kind of a different thing. For me it’s that instantaneous moment when reality sinks in and knocks the breath out of me. I didn’t have that experience with my folks’ deaths or even at Bran and Mariel’s reception. There was no grief (as I define it). I moved right into sorrow in those situations.
They were not unexpected. There was time to prepare. My parents were both in poor health. It was not IF they were going to pass away, it was WHEN. And with the wedding and reception, there had been so much antagonism and contention all along, both in the planning of the event and their relationship itself, that what happened was not unexpected — though I didn’t foresee the way it would come about.
I sat here last night and tried to think of the last time it was that I felt honest grief. It was this:
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I can’t begin to tell you how waking up to the news of Robin Williams’ suicide took the wind out of my sails. That a man who had given the world so much laughter and moments of respite from the things that plagued us could have been so unhappy and lost himself and we did NOT see it just did me in that day. We, the fans who had been in love with him since Mork and Mindy, failed him.
I couldn’t believe I could feel so affected by the death of someone I didn’t even really know. Obviously very few people knew the man and what he struggled with. Look at that beautiful face… I can’t even begin to imagine the pain it hid. But it was the suddenness of his death (and the manner, if I’m to be honest), the unexpectedness that took the toll on me. It made the grief well up and spill over. Just like with the terrorist attacks from yesterday.
Yes, there is sorrow in the wake of these event, but that original grief that hits me when I hear of things like this somehow depletes who I am inside. Did it deplete me when my folks died? I don’t think so. Part of me knew they had lived a good life together. They had their ups and downs for sure, but death is expected when we age and are ill. Even with the issue with Brandon, it was my own failure that caused such sorrow, but not the shock of grief.
I expect a lot of folks will see this topic differently. But for me, this is the reality. This quote by C.S. Lewis took me quite by surprise because it feels just that way for me. Probably something I need to journal about…
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No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
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C. S. Lewis
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Picture Credits:
Robin Williams funeral notice — www.pinterest.com
Robin Williams picture — www.biography.com
Impromptu Promptlings 
Beautifully written. We never know the struggles and pain that so many carry. So often, those in great pain hide behind their laughter. Robin Williams was brilliant to be sure, and yes, he brought laughter to millions and it is our great loss.
And Brussels…I can only imagine the horror of those precious people. We pray that somehow they would emerge stronger and more resolved to live and love with more intensity.
I love the quote from CS Lewis too…and agree.
Thank you!
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Morning Brenda! How’d your surgery go???
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Good Morning to you too, Cheryl! The surgery is scheduled for 1:00. We leave in
about an hour or so. I will begin physical therapy tomorrow afternoon. It is minor but should make a huge difference in my walking. Now I’m using a cane part of the time or hobbling about, which is making me feel very old. It is also reminding me how very blessed I am to have 2 fairly good legs to stand on! I DO hope to get back to blogging and have flagged some that I want to respond to…soon! Have a very blessed Resurrection Day! I hope to go to our Good Friday service tomorrow night but if not, SUNDAY’S COMIN’!
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I hear ya. But if you don’t make it, take heart! It’s like Tony Campolo says: It’s Friday! But Sunday’s comin’! Will pray all goes well with your procedure. Sir Drollery has been through that one, too. {{{Brenda}}}
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BTW – The images you posted were not showing ?
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If you get a minute, could you please check again, Raili? I’m not finding anything wrong here. Thanks, hon.
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Seems OK now – my internet does strange things 😦
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Thanks, hon.
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And yet there is more – as always 🙂 I’m sitting here thinking about the never ending grief of watching a loved one fade away over years as alzheimer’s bites deeper and deeper. The grief is acute on chronic and cannot become sorrow till the shell that is left dies. I know this from a visceral personal living of it with both my parents.
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Your comment makes me wonder if for me it’s an “in the moment” thing. Interesting. I don’t think the grief counselor I went to after mom died quite understood where I was coming from, either.
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Our expereinces are unique to us. There is no right or wrong to it 🙂
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I agree with you on the fact of the unexpected and suddenness of the situation defines it as grief.
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That’s the way I feel it. Others, not so much…
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Oh, that quotation from C.S. Lewis — so true! And something one can’t possibly know until one has felt real grief.
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Inherent in ALL these emotions, I guess, is What does this mean for me? And while these emotions — at least as I experience them — can be kind of hit and run, for those first few moments grief can sure scare the tar out of me, too. Thanks, Lori.
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I was shocked about his death as well, but it would be too far stretched to say that I was grieving. I am in shock about yesterdays brutal attack as well, but I can’t really say that I am grieving. I am angry, I am shocked and I feel fear. It’s a reminder of my own mortality and that’s something nobody wants to think about, I think that’s why fear came up.
A good friend of mine ones said that grief is like wearing a very tight fitting pair of shoes that you cannot take off. You cannot think of nothing else but your hurting feet because of these shoes, that’s the same with grief you cannot think of nothing else but your loss. You cannot get away from it. It is your main focus of attention. And your whole body begins to hurt too. Your face will also reflect the pain you are feeling. Grieving is a whole body experience.
I hope that your grief over Robin Williams will be the only grief you will have to experience for a very long time.
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I like the simile of the shoes, though for me that would equate to sorrow, which can hang on for a long time. After thinking about it for a bit since posting this, I think grief is more hit and run for me. It doesn’t necessarily hang around for a long time. I grieved something AWFUL for a deer picture Drollery has misplaced. Poster size! How can you misplace a picture that big of a deer standing in the forest in the rain?
But after a day or two I forgot about it and life went on. Not so for sorrow with me. Sorrow is something that permeates my heart to a greater, more personal degree. I Don’t know if that makes ANY sense. 😮
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Sorrow is a form of sadness and can be used for many things (humans included) grief is a feeling that describes the sadness we feel when confronted with death or a loss. At least that’s what I think and how I translate it.
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