This is one of those pondering days for me. Most of you know I’m really involved with the Care Ministry in our church. I have several older ladies I visit on a regular basis. Some housebound, some just at the beginning of that part of their lives that will eventually leave them in that situation. My hope is that by visiting them off and on NOW in their homes before that time comes, it will help make the transition easier for them later.
That idea of “dying to self” and “living for others” is part of the theology I was raised with. And I find it to be very beneficial to my own well-being. I love Jesus. He said when we LOSE our lives in the service of others, that’s when we really FIND ourselves. I believe that’s true because I’ve experienced that very thing.
Now this morning I read a meditation from Spiritual Dragonfly’s blog that comes from a 21-Day Meditation Experience that she’s been doing. I found the meditation very uplifting and have been pondering on it. And when I’m pondering about things is when I usually get in trouble! But maybe not today…
My self-esteem has always been pretty much in the toity. So I’ve read a lot of books of mental health devotional thoughts over the years, and I always come back to the same struggle. They seem so “me, me, me” centered which constantly leaves me in conflict with my core belief of being here in this life to make it easier for others.
It’s caused me a lot of confusion over the years. Is it OTHERS centered or ME centered? That’s a pretty stark contrast.
And yet Jesus said we must love our neighbors AS ourselves. So I’m generally left asking what I’m missing here. How can it be both ways? Obviously there’s a happy medium I haven’t stumbled on yet. And I don’t think those self-centered devotionals are going to be much help.
But having said that, I was actually quite surprised by the meditative thoughts Linda posted this morning. Thoughts that said the “theme” of our life is most important. And that changing THAT is more effective than trying to change yourself bits and pieces at a time. Now there’s something I think I can get on board with. And I’m almost betting that somewhere in the middle of the thoughts she posted is where that happy medium is. As in, “Do things that make you happy.” Visiting makes me very happy.
Thanks, girlfriend, for sharing your journey with us. I was really touched and blessed by your post today. And if ya’ll get a minute, stop by Linda’s blog and have a quick read. I think you may be blessed by it, too!
PS. Percy says “Hey!” 😀
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