Tags
blogging101, Creative Writing, Faith and Writing, Journaling, Journey 2016, Reflections, Writing 101
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This is one of those pondering days for me. Most of you know I’m really involved with the Care Ministry in our church. I have several older ladies I visit on a regular basis. Some housebound, some just at the beginning of that part of their lives that will eventually leave them in that situation. My hope is that by visiting them off and on NOW in their homes before that time comes, it will help make the transition easier for them later.
That idea of “dying to self” and “living for others” is part of the theology I was raised with. And I find it to be very beneficial to my own well-being. I love Jesus. He said when we LOSE our lives in the service of others, that’s when we really FIND ourselves. I believe that’s true because I’ve experienced that very thing.
Now this morning I read a meditation from Spiritual Dragonfly’s blog that comes from a 21-Day Meditation Experience that she’s been doing. I found the meditation very uplifting and have been pondering on it. And when I’m pondering about things is when I usually get in trouble! But maybe not today…
My self-esteem has always been pretty much in the toity. So I’ve read a lot of books of mental health devotional thoughts over the years, and I always come back to the same struggle. They seem so “me, me, me” centered which constantly leaves me in conflict with my core belief of being here in this life to make it easier for others.
It’s caused me a lot of confusion over the years. Is it OTHERS centered or ME centered? That’s a pretty stark contrast.
And yet Jesus said we must love our neighbors AS ourselves. So I’m generally left asking what I’m missing here. How can it be both ways? Obviously there’s a happy medium I haven’t stumbled on yet. And I don’t think those self-centered devotionals are going to be much help.
But having said that, I was actually quite surprised by the meditative thoughts Linda posted this morning. Thoughts that said the “theme” of our life is most important. And that changing THAT is more effective than trying to change yourself bits and pieces at a time. Now there’s something I think I can get on board with. And I’m almost betting that somewhere in the middle of the thoughts she posted is where that happy medium is. As in, “Do things that make you happy.” Visiting makes me very happy.
Thanks, girlfriend, for sharing your journey with us. I was really touched and blessed by your post today. And if ya’ll get a minute, stop by Linda’s blog and have a quick read. I think you may be blessed by it, too!
PS. Percy says “Hey!” 😀
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DAILY PROMPT: CONTRAST
Picture Credits:
others — www.diabetesselfmanagement.com
myself — www.lovepanky.com
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When I think of self-centered, I think of people who are ego-driven and you do not come across in that light at all, Calen. We cannot truly be of service to others if we do not love and honor our own selves first. This is not in any means selfish. Aren’t we told that our bodies are temples of God? Doesn’t that mean that we must take care of ourselves too? Mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I hope you can resolve your conflict. Much love, dear Calen!
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Thanks, Lori, for your thoughts. Drollery says I’m not happy unless I’m having conflict drama! 😀 He ought to know after 44 years of being an unwilling participant! LOL
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Welcome, Calen.. Drollery is a hoot 😀
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It occurs to me just now that, if we can’t love ourselves, it will be harder for us to truly love others. I don’t know if that makes sense, but I think that may be where those two aspects converge.
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Well that’s certainly what I see when I read back through my journals. I think I’m ready to burn them now.
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Don’t need to burn them. Just learn from them, let them grow and evolve to who you are today? Seeing our journey is very important… it’s that FOUNDATION card, so to speak.
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Nah… I’ll never read them again. Once years later was enough to depress the hell out of me. Gonna have Amy burn ’em for me!
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Love the idea of contemplating the ‘theme’ of our lives, Calen. Heading to the other blog now. 😉
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A beautiful post!
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Thanks a lot, Debby. These post where I’m trying to think things through (oh my! look at all those t’s!) often come out so confused and not making any sense. (rolls eyes…) But hey, it’s a process, right? Thanks so much for stopping by and taking the time to comment. I appreciate it! 🙂
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Don’t ever be too dead to yourself. I can say I lived this way most of my life and not until I was much older and even took self-esteem classes, I started to realize that I count just as much as the next guy, so to speak. It’s one thing to make the decision or have the spirit tell you when you need to make a specific sacrifice in your life but living as a doormat is pretty much the way I thought it should be. Now I realize there is a difference between being selfish and living abundantly and that you need to know how to treat yourself the same way you treat others. We all deserve that much.
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I know what you mean. I don’t think I would consider myself a doormat. The thing I’m probably most guilty of is wanting to keep the peace at all costs. But that comes with its own set of problems, doesn’t it… 😦 Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting. I’ll come by and say hello. 🙂
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the dilemma inherent in notions like “dying to self” and “living for others” and love our neighbors AS ourselves, I believe come down to our lack of clarity on what we mean when we say “self” or “I”. I was having a discussion with Ms. Trope that included my layman’s attempt to explain the Buddhist notion that it is the letting go of the self that allows one to have compassion for all, etc.
There is a fine line dividing seeing our selves as interdependent entities (and thus keeping the notion of the self [and soul] as an ultimately autonomous entity) and seeing our selves as manifestations of an all encompassing one. I don’t have any answers, but i would say that “dying to self” could be seen as a way of releasing the illusion of the ego not by subjugating one’s self beneath others for their benefit but allowing it go poof in a cloud of vapor, leaving nothing to be subjugated nor repressed.
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“the letting go of the self that allows one to have compassion for all, etc.” I really truly believe that. The interesting thing is, when we used to belong to our old, very Calvinistic church, my journals were so full of self-condemnation. There was no compassion for myself. And I realized there wasn’t much for anyone else, either. Back then I could be really judgmental, and never more so of anyone else than myself. I almost want to say we need to learn to leave ourselves alone and just go out there and love folks. Does that make any sense, Douglas? (Probably not very sound psychologically! 😮 )
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It does make sense to me…Zen master Dogen has a famous quote that begins: “To study the Buddha Way is to study the self. To study the self is to forget the self.” Leaving our selves alone can be likened to forgetting our selves.
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Well then I’m grinning from ear to ear thinking I have at least a bit of grasp on it! Thank you, my friend. 🙂
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I like that idea of the “theme” of your life. What is yours? Very important to contemplate.
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That’s a very good question, isn’t it… I’ll have to do some more pondering! But I’m guessing it would have to do with offering compassion and grace to others — AND to myself.
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whose the little creature on you desk?
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That’s Percy, Anna. My little pack rat. He’s a hand puppet that I’ve been in love with for a year or better at the bookstore. Every time I’d go in there I’d go see if he was still there and say hi. But he was like $30 and I couldn’t justify paying that for a hand puppet. He was just so damn cute! Then Drollery asked me what I wanted for Christmas one day when we were in the store roundin’ up books for folks on our list. I didn’t have anything I really wanted this year. I went and got Percy. I was SO glad he was there. Now he accompanies me on my journey quest. He’s a sweetheart. I actually named him after Sir Percival, one of the knights of the Round Table who searched for the Holy Grail. 😀
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He is very cute and that’s a nice gift, something you really wanted.
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❤️🙏 My heart is smiling.
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It was a good day. ❤
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YAY for good days!!!
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