This morning I’m feeling very fatigued emotionally. But that’s not what this post is about. It finally dawned on me they don’t all have to be about me, just about the word I pick to illustrate.
So today is about our son Brandon. He is feeling very FRAGILE at the moment. After nine years of marriage, five of which they’ve been separated, he and his wife Mariel have finally decided to get a divorce. Yesterday morning the need to really start to refocus his life hit him. He’d been hoping all this time they could work things out.
He started going through their things. Mariel left a ton of stuff here when she went home, supposedly to take care of her mom who was dying of cancer. She never came back. Even their wedding presents are here. Their marriage never got a chance to get off the ground. The first few months they lived with Mariel’s folks in Florida where there was virtually no work, the next two plus years here with us while they both looked for something. It was truly, truly sad. Even if they’d been in their own place, who knows how it would have turned out.
But yesterday afternoon Bran came upstairs with the cross stitch I’d made them for their wedding. I asked him if he was sure he didn’t want to keep it. He was indecisive. So I’ve taken it, and I’ll wrap it in tissue paper and hang on to it. There really is no sense in keeping it, I guess. I could rip the names off and use it for someone else, but that seems cruel. The look of disappointment and despair on his face broke my heart. He looked like he was going to crumple any minute, so I didn’t belabor the point.
It’s such a hard thing to watch your kids go through these valleys in their lives and know there’s nothing you can do about it. I don’t often think of the word fragile (emotionally) in regards to men, but that’s what I saw on Bran’s face and in his demeanor yesterday. That and defeat.
Maybe someday the memories won’t be so awful and he might like it back. In the meantime, I’m just keep it safe for him.
So I ask you, folks, how does a parent encourage their child to move on in their life? How do you get them to stand on their own two feet again? Drollery and I are both emotionally spent trying to come up with a way to encourage him.
Picture Credits: moi