Tags
A to Z Challenge (2016), blogging101, Faith and Writing, Journaling, Reflections, Writing 101, Writing Prompts
Sometimes you just have to face your demons. Death is something I’ve always been afraid of. Not death as in what comes next. No, it’s not death itself, but dying. And more specifically aging and dying.
There’s something about the idea of not being able to take care of myself that absolutely scares the beejeebers out of me. I cringe at the thought of being at someone else’s mercy. It’s also the process of death that scares me. I’m a coward. I HATE pain or anything that has to do with needles. Case in point, you used to have to get a blood test when you were getting married (in the Jurassic age when Drollery and I were young). I passed right out when they took mine!
But then our previous pastor approached me at church one day and asked if I would mind helping her start a Care Ministry in our congregation for those who were housebound, hospitalized, or folks living in retirement communities. She’d noticed that I was really interested in and patient with the seniors at church.
I went with her one afternoon when she made her rounds so I could see what she actually did. It wasn’t hard. It certainly wasn’t anything beyond my capabilities, and yet I was totally UNDECIDED for a couple weeks. I guess I felt a bit threatened and frightened by what I saw because it made me confront that demon that had lived in me for so long.
In the end I agreed to give it a shot. It was a “pilot” program, so to speak. And I was the test case. I threw myself into it whole- heartedly. Being naturally gabby turned out to be a real “gift” for this ministry. 😀 And before long I was enjoying myself immensely. But it wasn’t until some months later I realized the things that had bothered me the most about the getting old part of my fear weren’t bothering me so much anymore.
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In these women I saw such amazing faith. Faith that allowed them to take the ups and downs of aging in stride come what may. And before I knew it, I was no longer fretting about that future part of my life.
Being UNDECIDED turned out to be a good thing for me because it gave me the chance to explore and find a passion. And these women are no longer my “ministry”, now they are my friends, my encouragers, and true blessings. And I figure if THEY can get through all their trials with such finesse, then by golly, so can I when the time comes!
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The Blogging A to Z Challenge — U
Picture Credits: personal — Mona (93), Donna (89), Eunice (103), and Jan (89).
lifelessons said:
This is my greatest fear as well, Calen. Spending a few days with my sister, who is in the throes of Alzheimer’s, did little to allay my fears, unfortunately.
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calensariel said:
I hear you, Judy. I don’t know as it’s so much death itself that I fear. Sometimes I think it’s more the getting there. If you know what I mean. I would like to think that I could exit this planet with a little bit of class. But I know myself well enough to know death will have to take me kicking and screaming. I think that’s one reason I loved the book The Book Thief. I like the way death was per trade in that book.
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Walking My Path: Mindful Wanderings in Nature said:
What beautiful inspiration, facing your fears. You really went head on into this one! I’m inspired by you..
Peace
Mary
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calensariel said:
Well I have to be honest, Mary. I went kicking and screaming into this ministry with God kickin’ my butt all the way! LOL
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randombitsoftrialanderror said:
What a wonderful opportunity and a very inspirational post. There is so much wisdom to gain from the older generation. An amazing testimony that God uses us where He needs us, but gives us larger blessings in the process.
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calensariel said:
Absolutely. I think it’s the “Abraham Principle”: Bless to be a blessing…
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becko42 said:
You are just a generally inspiring person. I have taken up your sandbox challenge on my own blog and linked it to yours. Dont know if you are familiar with an online organization called seven cups of tea, but people volunteer as active listeners for troubled people who have noone to talk to, i think youd be extremely good at it x
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calensariel said:
Sounds wonderful, Sounds like my “cup of tea!” Thank you for the lovely thought. I find it interesting that you used the word “active” because I sure have found that to be the case with these gals. Listening to them is a whole-body experience. So often they speak very quietly like they’re telling secrets, and you have to pay close attention. You lean forward, you look at their eyes, you may take their hand… It really truly IS an active experience. And if I’ve spent a day visiting with more than a couple of them I can come home emotionally drained and physically pooped out. I’ll have to check into that organization. I’m glad the Sandbox Challenge appeals to you! It’s been very stretching at times. Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting!
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lisamariagardiner said:
What a wonderful heart warming post xx
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calensariel said:
Thanks, Lisa. They are wonderful, heart warming women! 🙂
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nonsmokingladybug said:
Being with a loved one who is going to die is a blessing, a special gift, even though it seems to be a burden at first. It’s tough when we look at it from the wrong angle. Dying is a part of life…not more and not less. It is as important as birth. One is the overture…the other one the final chapter of the book…so to speak. Don’t be scared of dying, don’t waste a thought on it…think about living. At the end, it all will fall into place regardless if you want it or not. 🙂
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calensariel said:
Beautiful words, Bridget. It has struck me more than once how ready and accepting of it they are.
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nonsmokingladybug said:
At the end we will be accepting too 🙂
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calensariel said:
(Of course I’d rather NOT see the end coming!!! 😮 )
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Fimnora Westcaw said:
Of all the jobs I’ve held, the ones where I was caregiving, especially elder care, were the most fulfilling and I felt it was a gift to me that I could care for them.
Your ladies are very lucky, as well to have such a caring individual helping them.
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calensariel said:
I will admit you really get attached to them. I’ve already lost one. 😦
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Deb said:
It isn’t death that scares me. Like you, it is the process of getting older and unable to take care of myself and being dependent on others to do things for me because I no longer can. Or being a burden on my family. Your ministry for those ladies is awesome though! They all look like real classy ladies!
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calensariel said:
I hear ya. I’ve realized how important their having support is. Especially emotional support. Even when they have family.
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Deb said:
I work with the elderly too..and sometimes they can talk openly with someone who isn’t family about what is laying on their heart. Sometimes the family can’t handle their thoughts.
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calensariel said:
I’ve figured that out. Some of them need that to be at peace.
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angieinspired said:
Yay! I gave up my bedroom for an elderly patient my mom took in, and her “business” of an assisted living facility grew from there! Angels, every one of them (and the nurses). ❤️
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calensariel said:
THAT is a beautiful story. I so get why she would do that. YOU were part of the angel crew, too! Thanks SO MUCH for your comment.
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Shannon said:
I think this will be a great thing for you. I was similar and then following my accident, I went to work in Hospice and faced it on a daily basis. They showed me amazing things and made me not fearful any more.
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calensariel said:
I’ve thought about volunteering for Hospice, too. Soon, maybe. What was your accident, Shannon?
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Shannon said:
I got hit by a freight train in 2002. Broke every bone in my body. Now THERE’S a tale I haven’t told yet! 😜
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calensariel said:
Well I’m all ears, girlfriend!
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Rachel McAlpine said:
What an inspiring story! Thank you so much for being so open about the fear that lies beneath the surface of many of us, and for hurling yourself into the worst scenario possible — or so you anticipated. The photos of Mona, Donna, Eunice and Jan are just beautiful. “Faith” is a very big word. It goes well beyond a strictly religious quality and encompasses faith in life, faith in ourselves, a trusting and positive attitude.
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calensariel said:
Rachel, I couldn’t have said it any better. Yes, you’re right. Their faith is such a testimony to the way they’ve lived their lives. Thank you so much for your comment.
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