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integration

i stumble in the dark
in a time between times —
what lies behind
no longer gratifies
what lies ahead
no longer draws

do i return to the past
used up, empty;
keep moving forward
directionless, uncertain;
stay and keep digging
through the damp earth
to find more pieces of me —

or have i found
all the pieces
there are to be found?

and what to do
with this pile of
pot shards at my feet?
clean each piece,
fit them together
to make as much
of a whole as i can?

yes, the light will leak out
through ill-fitting cracks,
darkness will seep
through, too
i shudder not wanting
to claim those dark
parts of me,
and yet this is
one of my tasks

to reconcile that i,
like all people,
am filled with both
dark and light
my choice?
how much of each
i allow within

i feel my heart and spirit
fighting this truth as if
i am not ready yet
to admit that both
are part of me

so for now i will
huddle here in the darkness
and ponder making peace
with my own
broken humanness

jar

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Picture Credit: www.christiantoday.com

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