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blogging101, Creative Writing, Family, Journaling, Reflections, The Circle of Friends, Uncategorized, Writing 101, Writing Prompts
The first of the week is turning out to be the day we all do our challenges! I’m still wracking my brain to come up with HALF of Fimnora’s Monday Music Medicine Show challenge. But in the meantime I’ll give Raili’s Circle of Friends challenge a go! Raili’s questions this week are:
Have you ever received a precious, priceless gift from a friend? Or given one yourself? What was it, and what made it so special? OR imagine gifting something priceless to a friend. What would you choose and why?
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Confession is good for the soul…
Gift giving among friends is one of those Catch 22 things for me. I LOVE to GIVE gifts. I used to do that a LOT when I was working and actually had some money. But since I talked yesterday about the whole good and evil, light and dark thing I’m trying to integrate within me, I will admit that sometimes I give gifts because I feel like I have to “buy” someone’s attention, affection, friendship… That says NOTHING about the person I’m giving the gift to, and A WHOLE DAMN LOT about my own self-esteem issues.
And for that reason, I sometimes struggle with receiving gifts from friends graciously because I feel like I need to pay them back — and for a long time I haven’t had any discretionary funds with which to do that. So, as I said, it’s kind of a Catch 22 for me.
Ok, so now that my confession is out of the way…
I’ve written often about the homies I hang with. There are seven of us that have been family-like close for 20+ years. We don’t generally do birthday gifts with each other, but I’ve gotten in the habit of taking each of them out for lunch to celebrate. (Food is great! One size fits all.) What we DO make a kind of big deal out of is Christmas. Every year we have a Christmas party where we’ve exchanged names for gifts. Since we know months ahead of time whose name we have, it can be fun to keep an eye out for something unexpected. Like Raili’s example, I think our gifts started out at $10 tops. But as inflation continued to rise we kind of got away from that.
In addition to the person we’ve purchased our gift for, we’ve kind of fallen into the habit of buying or making some small thing for each of the girls. That’s actually kind of a fun challenge. My favorite thing I’ve gotten was from Amy who passed out these little plastic strainer traps you put in your drain in the sink so silverware (for one thing) won’t fall into your disposal! Would I have ever thought to buy one for myself even though my disposal kept chewing up my spoons? Heck no. But it was like the perfect gift! LOL
Now as to Raili’s questions, the best gift I ever received from a friend was actually not something I could hold in my hands, it was a day out. There is this little touristy place down by Salt Lake called Gardner Village. I’d never heard of it before. One year Linda, one of the homies, surprised me by taking me there for an afternoon of “shopping” through all these cool little shoppes. I bought a beautiful pair of earrings that day. Then she bought me lunch at their restaurant, Archibald’s. Like Lori over at As The Fates Would Have It had mentioned in HER post, it was the gift of spending time with Linda that was so precious to me that day. And years later when you ask me what one of my most special birthday gifts was, I will STILL think of that day with Linda before anything else.
When it comes to BUYING gifts for friends, I literally suck! I am NOT a good gift buyer. As well as I know most of my good friends, I still have a hard time picking up on what a great gift for them would be. But having said that, there was one gift I bought that I fairly “shined” at. It was for Kim, my absolute best friend in all the world who lives in Australia. And I NEVER knew what to get her. So one year I gave her a STAR. No, SERIOUSLY! I gave her a REAL HONEST TO GOODNESS STAR named after her in the International Star Registry.
I named the star Iluviel, which in Tolkien’s elvish language, means Daughter of God, her username on the Elvenhome site where we met. Her packet came with a registered number for the star, a chart showing her where it was in the night sky, and I think a silver star with the information engraved on it if memory serves. AND I told her that was the LAST BIRTHDAY gift I would ever give her ’cause I just couldn’t top that! (Unless I could find the actual One Ring, which is highly unlikely!. 😀 )
So I don’t really give birthday gifts any more. I would rather see something that I know someone would love and just buy it when the mood hits and money permits. But the gift I’m always ready to give is a gift of my time. I don’t check my calendar, I’m just there at the end of the phone or at Starbucks for coffee, or (on occasion!) out for a drink! Time is the most precious thing any of us have because once spent, you can never get it back. So when someone gives you a gift of their time, you’ll know you’re truly loved.
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Photo Credit:
gift — www.123rf.com
International Star Registry — sterne-ch.insign.ch
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Soul Gifts said:
What a fantastic post, Calen. From confession, to time, to trumping us all with the gift of a real, honest to goodness STAR!!! How awesome is that 🙂
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calensariel said:
I’m bi-polar when it comes to gift giving! LOL
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Soul Gifts said:
Lol !!
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Lori Carlson said:
This is a great post, Calen.. I love your confession and how you do gifting with your friends. I too prefer to buy things for friends just whenever I see something they might like.. no special day needed.
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calensariel said:
I kind of like what Spiritual Dragonfly said about gift buying being spontaneous. Then you know you really WERE on someone’s mind. That’s kind of how I feel, too.
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Lori Carlson said:
Oh I love that idea too! I wish everyone bought/gave gifts that way 🙂
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nonsmokingladybug said:
My husband, who is the apple of my eye, my knight-in-shining-armor sucks at birthdays and I mean it. He sucks at it…big times! He either gives me the gift way before my birthday -because he is so excited- or he forgets my birthday like last year. He surprises me with little things throughout the year; he treats my like a princess if I let him, but he doesn’t know how to do celebrations. His Mom was a single Mother with 4 children, there was not much giving.
I love giving gifts and I love birthdays. I have a big box in my hidden room (yes, I have a hidden room) and when I see something that I know people will love, then I buy it during the year and I put it in the box. I have a memory like an elephant, for little things as well, so I know who mentioned what book, or who would love to have a movie night.
I love cards and love to write them. I love homemade gifts…I love gifts…can you tell 🙂
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Fimnora Westcaw said:
“Time is the most precious thing any of us have because once spent, you can never get it back. So when someone gives you a gift of their time, you’ll know you’re truly loved.” That says it all! And I know from personal experience, my time spent with you is always spent well!
Years ago, I used to (and still do it with Q) do what I call ‘audience participation’ gift giving. My BFF, then, and I would go mall hopping in Jersey, and on birthdays we’d bring each other to a favored boutique or department in a store, and tell them to pick the one thing they wanted, and it was my gift to them. That way I’m assured that they really want and will enjoy it. Later, like a few years ago, when we moved into the lower income days of our lives – due to retirement – I suggested to a very good friend, who also was feeling the nervous about not having enough money, that we not exchange gifts, and that the money saved, would be a gift to each other which equaled peace of mind.
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spiritualdragonfly said:
The naming of a star…so cool!!!
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calensariel said:
That’s what you give someone who has everything? 🙂
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spiritualdragonfly said:
Well it’s very very cool!! 🌟🌟🌟🌟
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Colleen Keehne said:
Well next time we see each other the Starbucks is on me! Luv Ya!
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calensariel said:
You got, girl! Is there a Starbucks at Boulder Station?
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Opher said:
My challenge was to complete the rewrite of Danny’s Story – which I have just achieved! That was a major overhaul.
My second challenge will be to prepare the Nick Harper book in the next two days so that we can discuss on Friday when he comes down. There is not much to do on that so it is very doable.
So I’m a bit busy at this end – but all good.
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calensariel said:
You are always one busy guy! I don’t know anyone who writes as much as you do! I’m sure you’ll pull everything together for this Friday. Glad you got the other book done. Sorry I didn’t get to finish it. I’m so overwhelmed with blogging stuff at the moment I’m totally lost! What I really need is time to myself at home. I feel like I live in a bloomin’ fish bowl.
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