What leapt out at me was ‘this is my last chance to decide what I want from my life now”. And I wondered why is it the last chance? As long as there is life and breath, there is always another chance. Or am I missing/not understanding something?
It was a good question. I should have explained more about the retirement thing. We were so focused on getting Drollery through school that the need to really prepare for retirement kind of sneaked up on us. Drollery won’t have any kind of retirement package, so we’re going to be doing the best we can on living on Social Security. (I hear you guys TRYING to do that laughing out there!) So if there is anything I’d like to have that requires a bit of moolah, I have about a year to sort that out. At this point I’d like to have my own car. So we’ll just have to see how that goes.
But it’s not really about material issues at all, which, I’m pretty sure, is where Raili was coming from. James E. Miller goes on to say in his book Welcoming Change: Discovering Hope in Life’s Transitions:
This middle period will take as long as it takes. Its duration cannot be foretold. Two processes are at work here. One is the external change — you might go from being married to being widowed, from being employed to being unemployed, from being healthy to being ill. The other process, your internal transition, is altogether different. Whatever the speed of the changes around you, you must undergo your own rate of adjustment to those changes that take place within you. This period cannot be rushed, much as you might want it to be. Deep within you are shifting ever so slowly. Renewal is taking shape ever so gradually. If you push ahead too quickly, you’ll restrict what’s forming carefully, fragilely.
So I know I’m going to be spending some time this next year fitting those beautiful pieces of pottery together. It won’t be an unpleasant task, but there’s a part of me that’s anxious about it because when that retirement finally gets here, I don’t want to be feeling chaotic and panicky inside. That’s not the way I want our retirement years to play out.
I am so blessed to have good friends like Raili in my life who will challenge my thinking and keep prodding me on. (And Bridget over at The happy Quitter who is armed to the teeth to kick my keister when needs be! Love you, girl!. 😉 ) And I want to put a plug in here for blogging buddies. Don’t ever discount the ways in which they can influence and enhance your life. You don’t have to know them face-to-face for them to be a treasure. You just have to know them heart-to-heart!