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Raili from soulgifts — Telling Tales left an interesting comment on Middle Places (1) yesterday. She said:
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What leapt out at me was ‘this is my last chance to decide what I want from my life now”. And I wondered why is it the last chance? As long as there is life and breath, there is always another chance. Or am I missing/not understanding something?
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It was a good question. I should have explained more about the retirement thing. We were so focused on getting Drollery through school that the need to really prepare for retirement kind of sneaked up on us. Drollery won’t have any kind of retirement package, so we’re going to be doing the best we can on living on Social Security. (I hear you guys TRYING to do that laughing out there!) So if there is anything I’d like to have that requires a bit of moolah, I have about a year to sort that out. At this point I’d like to have my own car. So we’ll just have to see how that goes.
But it’s not really about material issues at all, which, I’m pretty sure, is where Raili was coming from. James E. Miller goes on to say in his book Welcoming Change: Discovering Hope in Life’s Transitions:
This middle period will take as long as it takes. Its duration cannot be foretold. Two processes are at work here. One is the external change — you might go from being married to being widowed, from being employed to being unemployed, from being healthy to being ill. The other process, your internal transition, is altogether different. Whatever the speed of the changes around you, you must undergo your own rate of adjustment to those changes that take place within you. This period cannot be rushed, much as you might want it to be. Deep within you are shifting ever so slowly. Renewal is taking shape ever so gradually. If you push ahead too quickly, you’ll restrict what’s forming carefully, fragilely.
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So I know I’m going to be spending some time this next year fitting those beautiful pieces of pottery together. It won’t be an unpleasant task, but there’s a part of me that’s anxious about it because when that retirement finally gets here, I don’t want to be feeling chaotic and panicky inside. That’s not the way I want our retirement years to play out.
I am so blessed to have good friends like Raili in my life who will challenge my thinking and keep prodding me on. (And Bridget over at The happy Quitter who is armed to the teeth to kick my keister when needs be! Love you, girl!. 😉 ) And I want to put a plug in here for blogging buddies. Don’t ever discount the ways in which they can influence and enhance your life. You don’t have to know them face-to-face for them to be a treasure. You just have to know them heart-to-heart!
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Picture Credits:
Transition — www.navigatelifecoach.com
Pottery Heart — www.pinterest.com
Little Girl — nomadicalsabbatical.com
Impromptu Promptlings 
That James Miller… “Whatever the speed of the changes around you, you must undergo your own rate of adjustment to those changes that take place within you. This period cannot be rushed, much as you might want it to be.” This reminds me of my favorite quote: “Everything happens at the rate at which it happens; no faster, no slower.”
Love the idea of the shape of a heart from the shards!
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You know, that almost sounds like something Gandalf would say, but I know it wasn’t him. Do you know who said that? Or is it just a science thingy?
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I thought it was someone like Pema Chodron, or even perhaps from “Be Here Now,” but when I put it in Google search, Quantum Hermit showed up as the result! How weird is that. I can’t believe that I’m the one who made that up.
Weird for me is meeting myself in that search.
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Well that’s one of the coolest things I’ve ever heard of!
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Knowing each other heart to heart. Nice. Have an exciting retirement. It is a joy to stay busy on your own schedule.
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You know, it’s having the staying busy being the same thing day in, day out that I am dreading. 😦
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Wait and see. So many things to do and time to do a lot of them.
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You promise? LOL 😉
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I’m glad you got where I was coming from Calen, I guess I was focussed on diggin’ around with that there golden shovel. And thank you for honouring your blogging friends so beautifully – I’m so blessed too, to have been accepted with open arms into this supportive community 🙂
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It’s a good basket of eggs, isn’t it… 😀
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Yep !!
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It is so much harder to change as we get older – to accept new things.
It sounds like life will be different in retirement. I was fortunate with my pension. It gives me security and a living income. We can choose what to do within limits. We put aside money to travel.
But life is not all about money. There is a lot to be said for living frugally. Just make sure you maximise all you’re entitled to.
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Sorry to intrude on your conversation with Cheryl. Not everyone is a fortunate as you Opher to receive a Pension that one can live on and enjoy travel. Some people have to manage and make do, but as you say it is not all about money. As long as Cheryl and Arn have good health, have each other and their family to enjoy that is so important. They have their Cruise to look forward to and who knows what is ahead, maybe when you get to 65 life begins again, new adventures so to speak.
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I guess we’ll find OUT what happens now that I’m 65! Drollery is 66.
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I hear ya, Opher. We’re bustin’ our keisters to get things done around the house and debt paid off before December 2017. Trying to stay focused. It would sure be helpful if Stef & Co. would move back this way. Maryland is a far piece from here.They come home once a year and we go there once a year. But it’s expensive for us because they don’t have room in their house so we have to stay at a motel. Pretty pricey around the DC area. We don’t want our grandkids growing up not knowing us. Know what I mean?
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“Armed to the teeth….” Boy or boy 🙂
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Giggle. 😀 I just mean you’re not afraid to tell me what side of the fence the cow Um… likes the grass better. 😉 You’re not afraid to challenge me. I like that about you. You’re someone who DOES know her own mind.
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I guess that makes me cow now
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Nah. Just an expression. But you probably were around them growing up!
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I doubt anyone is laughing because you will depend on Social Security. Just remember you have both worked hard, paid your Taxes you are entitled to it.
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Darn right we’re entitled to it. Problem is, it’s just not very much… Especially since it looks like we may still have a house payment for awhile.
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There may be more you are entitled to keep digging.
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