We write to heighten our own awareness of life… We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection. We write, like Proust, to render all of it eternal, and to persuade ourselves that it is eternal. We write to be able to transcend our life, to reach beyond it. We write to teach ourselves to speak with others, to record the journey into the labyrinth. We write to expand our world when we feel strangled, or constricted, or lonely…When I don’t write, I feel my world shrinking. I feel I am in prison. I feel I lose my fire and my color. It should be a necessity, as the sea needs to heave, and I call it breathing.
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Drollery has gone off for a meeting this morning and is going to run errands on his way home. Bran is working. Soon I will be getting my keister in gear and setting up for a little surprise anniversary party with some close friends for my sister Cindy and her husband Greg who has spent the last three years battling cancer. We thought we were losing him this past week. He cannot move at this point and is fuzzy mentally, but still has his sense of humor. When the PA asked him in the emergency room Wednesday whether he had any other pain than the one he was complaining of, he replied, “Only the one sitting over here on the other side of the bed.” Speaking, of course, of my sister.
Through many bouts of chemo, radiation, and treatments with an experimental drug, the essence of who Greg is hasn’t been snuffed out. But he is unable to remember much of anything. It is a disheartening thing for my sister. So I enlisted the aid of our homies, and poof! Instant party! Cindy and Greg think they’re coming over to celebrate my belated birthday. 😀 Sneaky, eh?
I’ve bought a pretty frame (the traditional gift for a 29th anniversary) and Drollery and Bran will be taking pictures to see if we can get a memorable one of them to put in it. But as I sat here in the quiet this morning I wondered if I would even remember when it was we did this.
I haven’t written in my personal journal since January. I thought perhaps it was time to stop “hiding” behind it and go experience my emotions. And that has been hard for me. I’ve felt like I’m on a bloomin’ roller coaster. I’m not sorry, but I’m learning that my journal also had a place as a receptacle of sacred moments like these. I’m missing my journal. And I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the reasons I started it years and years ago. This morning I happened to run across the Anais Nin quote above. I confess I’m not familiar with her, but what she said really resonates in my soul.
“We write to expand our world when we feel strangled, or constricted, or lonely…When I don’t write, I feel my world shrinking.” I think I’ve been experiencing that lately. My journal has kept me sane during the times all I’ve wanted to do was cry uncontrollably but couldn’t, wanted to scream at the top of my lungs but felt much too refined for that, have felt so overwhelmed with joy I needed to record it so I could “taste life twice.”
Perhaps not writing was a mistake for me. Or maybe it was an experience I ALSO needed. But the time has come, I feel, to go back to my journaling. I think of all the things I’ve missed recording in the last six months and part of me feels really sad. But life is a learning experience. And now I know how essential those written words are to me. As Anais Nin said, “I call it breathing.”
So for the next couple weeks I want to talk about journaling and find out how YOU feel about it. Do you journal? What do you think a journal is? Is there a difference between a journal and a diary? What is it?
If you’d like to ponder this process with me, to join me on my “journey into the labyrinth” of words, please feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments. Or if you find you have a lot to say about what journaling is to you, I invite you to do so on your own blog and pingback to this post. This is one of those subjects I never tire of talking about because it’s been so important to me in helping me to KNOW what I’m thinking and feeling. So if you are so inclined, please do join in the discussion. I’d love to hear what you have to say!
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“How do I know what I think until I see what I say?”
E. M. Forster
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“Writing teaches us our mysteries.”
Marie De L’Incarnation
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Anaïs Nin (Spanish: [anaˈis ˈnin]; born Angela Anaïs Juana Antolina Rosa Edelmira Nin y Culmell; February 21, 1903 – January 14, 1977) was an essayist and memoirist born to Cuban parents in France, where she was also raised. She spent some time in Spain and Cuba but lived most of her life in the United States where she became an established author. She wrote journals (which span more than 60 years, beginning when she was 11 years old and ending shortly before her death), novels, critical studies, essays, short stories, and erotica. A great deal of her work, including Delta of Venus and Little Birds, was published posthumously. (From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.)
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Picture Credits:
Anais Nin — anaisninblog.skybluepress.com
Journal — www.pinterest.com
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Please be sure to stop by and visit Cassie Lorentson on her post, Where we gather the tidbits of our souls
Impromptu Promptlings 
Reblogged this on Jenny's Reflection.
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*Experience life twice* That gave me chills! Yes! I so understand this. I have been writing in my journal since I was a little girl. I have even gotten into audio/video journals. I like experiencing myself outside myself. Trying to understand from a new perspective, so not only experiencing it twice, but almost from a outsiders view. It helps me feel connected and “seen”. At times, I want to see my pain, and not hide from it, or share it to everyone. Reading my journals gives me that experience. Its very healing. And I love reading other peoples thoughts, when they are raw and open. I feel so connected when they allow me in. Overall, great post! Thank you 🙂
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Thanks, Jenny. <strong"I like experiencing myself outside myself." This way of perceiving oneself is a philosophy that Plato over at Plato’s Groove (http://www.platosgroove.com/) is trying to teach at a rehab class he does every Wednesday at a “Christian”-sponsored men’s rehab. He believes this is the only way that people will come to understand their addictions, by observing themselves in this way. He has started video taping the classes and posting them on his site and youtube if you might be interested. He’s a counselor with a lot of years under his belt. And thanks for stopping by and commenting. 🙂
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Great post!
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Thank you so much! I really enjoy talking about journaling. It’s been such a life saver for me. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. 🙂
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The is hard work
there are days where it’s just lines
Then there are days I write half poems observations
Then there are days where I can write between 100/ to 500 words
My art work is about the same
I can do one project in an hr
I can do three before the sun comes up
It’s just practice,patience,and how raw do I feel
Some days I can’t even look at the stuff
As always Sheldon
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Yes. You seem to be one of those guys who is always working. Even your introductions to Matt’s Flash Fiction challenges are poem-like! Thanks for stopping by. Nice to see you. 🙂
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Thank you for the pingback and thank you for the inspiration. I stayed up until midnight that night because I had to continue the line of thought you inspired with your questions. 🙂
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I’m glad it inspired you. This is turning out to be a great discussion. 😀
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Sorry I am late joining in the conversation. I journal every day. It is my safe place to play, explore, rant, etc. From these journal entries I pull what I think can be used for poems or other polished pieces. I actually do all my published writing outside my journal, but I would venture to say 99.9% of my posted writing starts from my journal ramblings. I receive other benefits too from this practice. Like I can go back to see progress or event that I forgot about or dreams I had. And I always end with three things I am grateful for for that day and rereading the gratitude is inspiring to me. Thanks for getting this conversation started.
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You are so much more creative with yours than I am! Perhaps it’s time for me to change it up a bit.
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I started keeping a Diary in the 1960s, encouraged to write from reading the Poems and works of Rod McKuen, like so many other people, Rod McKuen inspired me to write. In my Diary I write the happenings of each day. I keep a separate Journal in which I write Poems, my feelings, stories just anything I feel I need to write down. Whenever I went on holiday my Diary and Journal accompany me.
Writing a Blog, for me at times comes from the Heart, yes a lot is personal that’s how I am. I like Politics so maybe I get a bit heavy there, I will write the odd story – for me blogging is something inside of me that says “go write” and once those fingers hit the keys the words just pour out.
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I envy you your constant flow of creativity. I seem to be fresh out of that as of late.
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You certainly don’t give me that impression, you have so much out there. I sat with a coffee in the garden yesterday, had usual paper and pen nearby and this story came into my head, not too sure how it is going to pan out but I’ll keep going for now. You come up with so many ideas Cheryl.
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Which I absolutely never finish because I run out of steam!!! LOL
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It’s strange, I’ve always wanted to keep a journal but never known what to record in it – consequently I never bothered.
When I started my blog, a year ago almost, I wondered what I’d write about in that too. It didn’t take long for me to realise that a blog, for me, is the ideal medium to capture my vague ramblings, ideas, plot bunnies, and, best of all, my ventures into writing poetry.
Poetry, for me, is a form of self-expression and a way to make sense of some of the issues which bother me, or the days/events which I want to remember. I don’t necessarily write down exactly what it is I want to explore, but I always write something which helps me to make sense of it. I read through past posts from time to time and can recall exactly what it was which prompted the poem/short story/piece of prose.
I guess it’s therapeutic and I think that’s the point of keeping a journal – to help you make sense of who you were, who you are, and what’s brought you to where you are now. Maybe even to give you some clue as to where you’re going.
Whatever, I’m enjoying capturing the essence of what brings joy into my life, what moves me to anger, what puzzles me and what confuses me. It helps me understand myself – I THINK that’s a good thing 😳
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For me that’s exactly the BEST thing! I think you hit the nail right on the head, Ruth. It’s a safe place for ALL those emotions. It really is therapeutic. Do you think it would have felt the same in a hand-written journal?
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I’m not sure Cheryl. I’ve always felt self-conscious about leaving anything I’ve written, on a personal level, lying around for someone else to see. I think I’m selective about what I write on my blog but, all the same, it’s from my soul and of the moment.
The serial I’m currently writing has more than a little of myself in it – there you go, I’ve said it for anyone to read 😱. I also use a notebook to note down my thoughts and ideas as they come to me – so I guess that’s a journal of sorts too. Some of these thoughts and ideas end up as a blog post in some form or another, many don’t. However, I keep all the filled notebooks just in case I want to use something from one of them in the future. I only started doing this, though, when I started blogging.
I was given a couple of beautiful notebooks a couple of years ago from two very dear friends. One has an Alphonse Mucha picture embossed on the cover, with a magnetic seal, the other has a design like a peacock’s tail feathers on the cover and fastens with an elasticated cord. Both of them I love and I use them every day to capture my thoughts and musings – which will then, more than likely, become a piece of poetry which I post on my blog.
When I think about it, I guess I’m really keeping a journal about my thought processes. Hey, there you go, I hadn’t thought of it that way before 👍🏼
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Keeping stuff you’ve written down… That’s one thing I discovered when I was journaling my way through “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron. She said NEVER throw anything away you’ve written, even if you ended up not using it because you never know when that’s the one puzzle piece some other time that you’ll be looking for. I thought that was such great advice. You have quite a few “journals” going there, girlfriend! (Me, too.)
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Why do I journal? First, I’d have to point out that for the most part, I journal mostly when on retreat, or for Tarot Readings. I think I wanted to be sure that I’d remember the important moments, and reflections, because once they’re thought, they ride off in a thought bubble to join a universe of jibber jabber.
For a while, before blogging came into my life, I did journal, because it was a way to get my anger out of me, and when it wasn’t for that, it was so I can recall moments that in the moment meant something.
Now that blogging is here, I see that as a journal of my days in the form of challenges, and in the mingling around with other bloggers. Inspiration comes from so many places.
Oh and I like writing.
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Those are great examples of how our interests and passions inform what kind of journaling we’re going to do. Do you feel more comfortable journaling on the computer than you did writing it out in long-hand?
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I think the computer is easier, possibly more convenient. Depends, though. All my early journaling was in books, written long hand. When I got the computer, it shifted over. Though, I write up my readings long hand no matter what. I did get a Tarot App, and it has a journal, which I’ve used, but virtual keyboards make a mess out of my thoughts. It does have a mic op, and that helps, if it actually understands my words.
But I prefer the pen and paper for readings. Only problem I have is that my hand writing gets real sloppy after a time, and it sometimes is hard for me to decipher what I’ve written.
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Don’t have a printer where you can print it out from the computer?
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Actually, we just got a new printer/copier/scanner/fax thingy… I told Q we weren’t grown up enough to get one, but here we are in the adult world lol
But it’s so new that we are not yet sure how to print to it from our various computers.
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For me journalling is reflection and a diary is about the things that happen you want to capture. I’ve never been big on the diary stuff. Journalling, however, comes and goes in my life depending on what inner work I’m doing. It’s deeply private and a place I go to when I feel the need. Which has not been much at all for a long time now. When I do, it is often in connection to some metaphysical stuff I’m working on. Or dream journalling. When there’s one of those really vivid dreams that stay with you, seem real, significant, and important to capture and understand.
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Dream journals… I have my dreams scattered all through my journals. And though they’re generally marked by a sticker, I wish I had started a whole separate dream journal, especially since I have a LOT of repeating symbolism in them. Would have been nice to have them all in one place.
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In the ‘to do’ basket – you could start one now 🙂
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Actually I started recording them on another site I have a few months back. I guess I should print them out and put them in a loose-leaf binder. It’s so much easier to write about them on the computer. I have a very clear recall when it comes to dreams. And if there’s any kind of vehicle in it — especially if I’m driving it — I know it’s about my feeling either in or out of control.
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I have never heard that quote before, but it really resonated. I journal on and off, and have since I was old enough to write in a journal. It was always my way to process thoughts and emotions. At my lowest points I usually wasn’t journaling. Got to be some sort of a connection there.
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That’s interesting. I don’t tend to journal as much when everything is going fine. I guess my journal acts as a release valve for me.
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You never read Anais Nin? What kind of hippy aren’t you? Is that first quote from her? Is that her photo? I guess you never read Catcher in the Rye either?
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LOL! Yes, I did read “Catcher in the Rye” but Lordy that’s been a long time ago! And no, I’ve never read anything by her. I was stuck solidly in the classics. My favorite book was “A Tale of Two Cities.” What have you read by her, my Badfishy friend?
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I’m thinking of what book I might read next…maybe Lady Chatterley’s Lover. That was such a hit way back when! A classic…?
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How about “Tom Jones” by Henry Fielding? Or “Of Human Bondage” by W. Somerset Maugham? (I know kids who read THAT one thinking it was going to be about all kinds of kinky sex!!! 😀 )
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Gorgeous quote! I think that a journal and a diary are different. When we were young we had diaries which chronicled our daily trials and tribulations. They held our secrets, hopes, and dreams. I feel like journals are more of a repository for things that we want to savor or hold onto. They are spaces for us to collect little tidbits we come across. I really enjoyed this post and will definitely create a pingpack to it!
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I agree. And so, I think, did Virginia Woolf. She said: “What sort of diary should I like mine to be? Something loose-knit and yet not slovenly, so elastic that it will embrace anything, solemn, slight or beautiful, that comes into my mind. I should like it to resemble some deep old desk or capacious hold-all, in which one flings a mass of odds and ends without looking them through.” I love her quote, too. Thanks so much for stopping by Cassie. I really appreciated your comment!
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It’s good that you’ve taken up journalling again, because it seems to be part of who you are.
I haven’t regularly written a journal since I was at primary school, when it was the first thing we did after assembly every morning. Over the past few years I’ve tried, partly because my life was so awful that I thought it would be nice to look back at when things improved, and remind myself how much better my life was, So far, things haven’t improved, only my attitude to them. I couldn’t keep the journalling up, because recording all the things that were happening on a daily basis was too painful, and because, amidst the chaos,it was hard to find the time. whole weeks went by when all I did was work, deal with crises, eat when I found the time, and sleep.
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Jane, I am sorry to hear you had so many painful things happen in your life. I decided to not journal about the daily painful things but instead capture the happy and wonderful things. The things that would make me smile when I re-read them. It could be a note my husband left me taped to a page or little pressed flower I picked out of the garden. When I focus on the bright moments in my life it helps me to move forward! I hope you can too.
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That sounds like a really good idea for getting back into journaling, Cassie.
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Your lovely, thoughtful comment has lifted my spirits. I often wonder whether those, like you, who freely reach out to share their well-wishes and wisdom to strangers, ever know how much difference their little acts of kindness can make. I thank you for it.
It’s not easy. I move forward – through a mire that is not of my making, and I survive with the help of love and laughter.
Just after I read your message I went to the bathroom to wash my hands (it’s very hot and sticky in the UK right now).I’d run out of soap and had to unwrap a fresh bar. I walked back into the living room feeling good, because I love soap – now my hands smell of roses, and I realised that it was one of those moments you mentioned. They happen every day, and from now on I’ll try to keep a record of them 🙂
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I am glad you found something today that made you smile! I cannot wait to hear what it is tomorrow!
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That sounds like the best kind of challenge Cassie 🙂
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Could you take a quick look in your spam folder please – I think you’ll find a comment I put on your last post. A lot of WP’ers are having this problem at the moment…
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Sometimes it just takes a little retraining. We live in such an overtly negative world that it’s often hard to recognize those “moments” when they happen.
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Well that’s the nice thing about journals, I think. YOU decide how often and when you write in them. Sometimes I think it’s just a matter of listening to your body and mind and emotions and you’ll KNOW when you need that kind of outlet. I wouldn’t commit to doing one everyday. I’d only be disappointed. Sometime I do, sometimes I don’t. 🙂
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So that’s the secret – don’t get discouraged and give it up just because you don’t write in it every day. That’s probably where I went wrong 🙂
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Yeah. You don’t want to feel like you’re chained to something. That takes the fun — and GROWTH — out of it.
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I love Anais Nin. “Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” I had her quote under my signature in my email account for years.
I write a journal in my workroom. Write down ideas, write about different projects. I have a notebook on my nightstand, one on my desk and one in the kitchen. I write down what comes to my mind, because one might start to become forgetful sooner or later (WHAT?).
I found an interesting explanation for journaling and it really made me think of you.
“What a journal allows you to do is to have a “vehicle for my sense of selfhood” and a medium to “represent (you) as emotionally and spiritually independent.” A safe-haven that at the same time soothes you and saddens you; motivates you and makes you reflect; makes you hate yourself, makes you love yourself: a reflection on paper of yourself.
There you go…another novel. 🙂
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Ooo! Like that! It’s really spot on, isn’t it… Who said it, Bridget?
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Anais Nin 🙂
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I guess I’m like several of the others here and use my blog as my personal journal. I probably say too much in it, but…all or nothing! 😜
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Yeah, I think blogging is a very powerful way to journal. It gives you immediate access to support. My guess is that’s why a lot of people blog. Have you ever noticed how many hurting people there are on here?
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Yes I have noticed a lot of hurting people on here. I think it’s because we all need to talk about or verbalize somehow the hurt, otherwise it just keeps looping in our mind till it drives us nuts! And I’ve found that 99.9% of the people who read are very supportive and understanding. Just that little affirmation makes me feel better about things.
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And I think sometimes it’s easier to talk about what’s bothering me when I have no personal past with the people I’m talking to on here.
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Mine are at arms length…I picked up the last one I finished and perused it not that long ago….those past journals are mere glimpses of who I was…. I know I’ve mentioned in a past SBWC that I’ve been more honest with myself here in WP then I ever was in my journals…..I know when I do finally decide its time to pick up my current journal and put pen to paper, it will be with a new found strength, purpose and truth………
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How long has it been since you wrote in your last journal?
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3 months…and it was like I was forcing it 🙁
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And prior to,that one…another 2 months
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Then it probably wasn’t needful just then. That’s kind of my rule of thumb. Unless I’m wanting to write about a certain thing but every time I sit down to write about it my gut feels that way. Then I have to stop and question what’s really going on. There can be a lot of resistance about certain topics.
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Very thought-provoking. I look forward to reading your journal posts. May your journey never end! 🙂
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Thank you! Here AND on the other side of that big door into the next adventure. 🙂
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I guess my blog is my journal. I write about the things that catch my imagination.
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And you do a terrific job with it. You put your whole heart into it. You amaze me, Opher, with your devotion to it.
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