Sorry to have droned on and on about journaling, but it’s something I feel so strongly about. Carl Jung, Swiss psychiatrist and psychotherapist, said:
Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
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So I find it’s helpful to go back through my journal from time to time, for it’s not just about releasing pent-up energy (thoughts, feelings, creativity), it’s also about creating a map of where I’ve been and how I lived through it. Looking back has helped me gauge how far I’ve come AND where I’ve gotten stuck and needed some outside help. (And I have a couple of times.) I’ve been encouraged by the things I’ve survived and thought I wouldn’t. That’s one of the most important things for me. Every time I realize that, I find myself becoming stronger. The truth is, for me, whatever I find in my journals from the past can help me make better decisions about the now.
“Those who cannot remember the past
are condemned to repeat it.”
— George Santayana
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I’ve struggled with the idea of sharing my journal. I realize my only obligation about my journal is to be myself. But now, after years of journaling, I’m beginning to understand how the character and voice in my journals change when I consider someone may read them. I’ve seen how I hold back parts of me when that happens so I won’t hurt people. But my journals aren’t about other people, they’re about me, and what I think and feel are very important. There have been times I’ve used parts of my journal in letters, blog posts, writing groups, but sharing my journal in its entirety is something I’m still pondering on. Only I can make that decision, and I can’t let it dictate who I am when I write. I just figure I’ll know IF and WHEN the time is right to do that.
“It always comes back to the same necessity:
go deep enough and there is a bedrock of truth,
however hard.”
— May Sarton
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Finally, there is one thing I think I’ve been guilty of, and that’s letting my journal become a substitute for truly living. There have been times when it’s begun to get in the way of my daily life and relationships, times I’ve been consumed with keeping up with all THREE of my journals. I’m becoming aware that sometimes there’s a need to set those journals aside for awhile to gain some new perspective on my life. While my journal is meant to be a respite from life, it’s not meant to be a constant retreat. On the contrary, if used in a healthy way it should energize and refresh me to be more balanced when I DO engage in life — not away from, but deeper into, more in tune with who I’m called to be.
“How can you sit down to write
until you have stood up to live?”
— Henry David Thoreau
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Making my journal my own has been an adventure and a joy. I have a story to tell that no one else can — mine! Only I know my truth and only I can choose to acknowledge it or not. It’s all up to me.
“The one who knows others is wise.
The one who knows oneself is enlightened.”
— Lao-Tzu
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Thanks so much for reading my flight of fancy. This was needful for me to clarify what I wanted to do with my journals — pick them up and begin again, or decide if they truly were getting in the way of my risking my butt by living in the real world. I appreciate all your comments and support. You guys are the best!
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Picture Credits:
Looking Back — www.zawaj.com
Mask — www.gypsymom.com
Strong — michaelbaisden.com
Ask Yourself — www.movemequotes.com
Perhaps they throw them out because the value of them in their lives has been fulfilled? I occasionally journal on my laptop. It’s password protected. It’s a different experience again to writing by hand. My journalling is a bit of a mish mash, on again off again type of thing – never been a regular thing.
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Well, if it’s never been a regular thing then I expect regular is not your style of journaling. I think we pretty much should journal when the spirit moves us unless we have a real passion for it. But ALWAYS we should save our stuff. You just never know when it will come in handy for a blog post!
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That’s true. And I do keep mine, dated and all. However I do know people who don’t hang on to stuff, whatever it is. It’s just the way they are.
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OK, OK…but how do you get to know yourself when nobody will introduce you is all I have to say..
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Sweetie, you crack me up! LOL… I can’t even come up with a mildly funny response to that! {{{Badfish}}}
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The interesting thing is that everyone is always self-editing in their head anyway. Why not commit it to paper?
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That’s a great observation, Jay. Makes me wonder if we’re ever really free from that.
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I hope you will find the balance in journaling and in life.
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In life? LOL. Now you and I both know that’s a long shot! 🙂
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I actually took my journal out the other night,,was having a kind of meltdown moment for lack of a better word…..I just started writing every dang thing that was bugging me all day, really getting under my skin..I could actually feel my skin vibrating with Pissed Offness!!! 😁 felt pretty good to unload…..when I checked th last time I’d written in it,,was exactly 2 months ago,,,,and before that it was another 2 months…..will see what happens from here ….
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Sounds like your stressors are just coming a bit closer together. Not unusual with all that’s been going on. There’s a change in the wind, matey! Argh…
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😄😄😄 Menopausal meltdown!! 😜💥
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Very insightful post. Hope you find your journaling balance. It does seem to be very important in your life. Thanks for sharing yourself so freely.
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Thanks for stopping by and reading. I appreciate your comment. You’re exactly right. It is a balance. And I think I was using it to try and justify my just being, if you know what I mean. 😦
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I wouldn’t mind repeating a few things from my past!
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With your history, I don’t doubt it!!! LOL But aren’t there even a few things you would do differently?
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I used to be a prolific journaler before I started blogging, and then I would print out a text-only copy of my blog post and paste it into my journal. Pretty soon I realized I hadn’t journaled for a while, so I started a binder for my blog posts. Now I find I miss the rawness and spontaneity of journaling, so I’ve decided to start up again.
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And that is the exact reason I started blogging about this last week. I’ve been journaling for years, but set my journals aside last January — to my detriment. Blogging, no matter how wonderful and fulfilling, just isn’t the same. Thank you for stopping by and comment, Sheri. You just confirmed for me what I’ve been feeling. 🙂
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I have journals back to my first diary, that I got and started keeping in 1973 (I was 7). I recently read one from my college years when I was trying to write a story about a college student. It helped me remember what it felt like to be a college student. It’s interesting to me that I think I remember what it was like, but then I read the journal and I’m better acquainted with what has really changed and what hasn’t.
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I so get that. They can be really eye-opening, can’t they? And I’ve noticed how often I’ve tended to reshape events unintentionally when I tell someone about them. It often differs from what I wrote at the time.
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I’ve kept old journals dating back to my teen years. I can’t imagine ever doing anything with them, but I can’t seem to bring myself to throw them out, either.
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I know that feeling. It’s like throwing away a piece of who I am. It’s like saying that none of those struggles, feelings, joys meant anything. Ergo I didn’t mean anything. My heart breaks for people who throw them out.
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