For years and years I’ve had “vehicle” nightmares. Yep. All kinds of vehicles — cars, buses, metros. I’m either the driver or the passenger, or I’ve left my car parked somewhere. They were mainly repeats for many years. I’d be driving and I’d get lost. We’d be out shopping and I couldn’t remember where I parked the car. I couldn’t see the road in front of me, or I didn’t know where to get off the bus (my kids were usually in those with me).
Then gradually another nightmare reared its head. I’d be driving but I’d have something over my eyes (which I could remove). Or the scariest one, I’d be driving and I couldn’t OPEN my eyes but a tiny bit. The first time I had that one it scared the bloomin’ tar out of me.
I THOUGHT I knew what they were all about. I realized sometime around when the dreams where Drollery and I were shopping or sightseeing and I’d get lost and not be able to find him OR the car, that they floated to the surface when I was feeling abandoned. But I misread them. I thought I was feeling abandoned by others. It wasn’t until the blindfold and not the being able to open my eyes nightmare that it dawned on me I was actually feeling like I had abandoned myself. The ones where I couldn’t open my eyes always happened when I was exhausted. I finally figured out that one was telling me I wasn’t taking care of MYSELF. But over these last 18 months or so of blogging and spelunking and taking all this sorting through my artifacts seriously, the dreams began to come less often.
Then a few weeks ago I had a brand new one. I dreamed I was in a bank and was just walking out the door when these men with masks and guns came in. They didn’t see me and I ran out. I knew I needed to call 911 but didn’t have my phone. Then it hit me, neither did I didn’t have a car to go anywhere and do that. So I ran out into the street and hailed a passing vehicle. I told the lady in the car I needed to borrow it to go somewhere to call the police. I got in and drove down the street to a hotel, went into the office, and called 911.
That was it. The thing that was different about this dream was that I was IN CONTROL. I stepped up and did what had to be done. I was never in control in the other dreams. Not that I was at the mercy of anyone else. In fact, that’s how I figured out the dreams were really about my relationship with myself. And the interesting thing is, that dream was in mid-June. I haven’t had another vehicle nightmare since. It makes me wonder if me, myself, and I have come to some sort of understanding that we didn’t have before.
If so, if I’ve changed in that regard, I give a lot of credit to the blogging and the wonderful people I’ve met on here. I’ll be interested to see if I have another vehicle dream. But I’m almost betting that I won’t.
DAILY PROMPT: Nightmare