I don’t remember what I was frustrated about. I just remember doing dishes with a vengeance. I was plunking them in the water hard, scrubbing the hell out of them and practically throwing them into the other sink to be rinsed. I had my dish drainer sitting on dishtowels which left room around the plastic drainer to sit dishes as well.
When I rinsed, I rinsed hot and hard. I filled the dish drainer with plates, and glasses, and silverware, hung cups around the outside of it, then stacked other suckers up all around that drainer on the towels.
I remember having music playing. I like to listen to classical music when I’m doing dishes, it chillaxes me. So I started with the outside row on the towel and began drying and putting away. I thought I was calming down. I SEEMED to be calm and no longer angry. But then I got to the last things, the plates. I took the end one to dry and the rest of them all fell over. That aggravated me. I set them all back up again and took the next one. The rest fell over again. I repeated that little scenario till there were only two plates left and the same thing kept happening.
The battle was on! No matter how many times I sat that second-to-the-last plate upright, it kept falling over. And I got angrier and angrier by the moment until I could have steamed cleaned the carpet with what was coming out of my ears! And it wasn’t just INNER turmoil. I was hoppin’ up and down and cussing at that plate like a bully in the school yard! Then I took it and with every ounce of rage in me I chucked it on the floor. (It was 30-year-old melmac. It didn’t break.)
That stopped me cold and I asked myself what the hell I was doing. I think it’s interesting that I don’t remember what I was mad about. All I remember is my angry and abusive behavior with that poor plate. That was a big day for me. My mom had anger management issues. And though she never laid a hand on us physically, we knew good and well when she was ready to pitch a fit.
I stopped in that moment to ask myself if I ever treated my kids that way. Thankfully, the answer was no — as far as I knew. But it did make me wonder if I ever came across as that angry to or at them.
I was very conscious of any irritable or angry behavior after that. It changed me. I don’t know why it happened that day or happened the way it did, but I knew after that overly-dramatic moment with a plate that I didn’t want to be like that with my family. Some of my homies might tell you I’ve done a 180° and now I put up with way too much. But if I had to pick one or the other, I’m still enough of a drama queen without the mega anger issues!
DAILY PROMPT: Dramatic