Tags
blogging101, Journaling, Quotes, Reflections, Sandbox Writing Challenge, Uncategorized, Writing 101, Writing Prompts
As I read back through my own responses to the Sandbox Writing Challenges, it became obvious to me that there is one area in my life in which I have a HUGE problem. Because of that, I know exactly what I’d like to leave behind as a legacy.
I have a bad, bad problem with self-love and self-acceptance. I think I’m finally realizing that a lot of things I’ve thought of in my life as problems — even what I may have assumed is OTHER people’s problems, not mine — stem from a basic lack of self-care and self-neglect. I’m learning I don’t repeat certain behaviors unless there’s something in them for me. And it will likely be something good, not bad.
For example, I bust my keister to be there for everyone else because it makes me feel good about MYSELF. Now I think I AM a genuinely nice person (most of the time. 😉 ), but sometimes when I’m doing those things primarily to build myself up, resentment can sneak in. So even being nice to people leaves me in a bit of a quandary about my motivation. (But that’s a struggle for another day…)
So the legacy I would like to leave behind and which I am advocating even now, is a legacy of LOVE YOURSELF. If we can’t care for our own physical, emotional, spiritual, even mental needs, no one else is going to. I’m not saying become self-centered, self-absorbed, or self-indulgent. Obviously there is a balance that has to be reached. But I AM saying DON’T ALWAYS LEAVE YOUR NEEDS TO BE TAKEN CARE OF LAST because out of that self-love will grow our ability to others freely in healthy ways.
And as to writings like the Sandbox Challenge that have helped me do my best inner work, never again will I disparage my past, no matter how I may have perceived it at times, for it has brought me to the place I am now, and now is where I have to start to learn to love myself.
`
`
Sandbox Writing Challenge #53 — Legacy
`
DAILY PROMPT: Obvious
`
Picture Credits:
Heart — mariashriver.com
Relationship Quote — elitedaily.com
Love Yourself Quote — simplereminders.com
Impromptu Promptlings 
I loved this post and your honest self reflections. I came to a point this past year, where I realized that always putting others first was a form of control for me. If I do for everyone else and myself last, then I have quite the loyal following when I need to call some of those markers in. But the fact is, I never have, so then I am able to wallow in some self-pity that none of the people I put first are there for me when I need it, when in reality, they don’t even know that I DO need them.
Voice your needs, C…and by all means, love yourself first, so there is enough there to give back out to those you love.
I sometimes visualize you and I walking through the forest together…we are so in tune right now with our journeys.
Serendipity.
LikeLiked by 1 person
OML, Shannon! Your first paragraph. I read it, the light went on about control, and I thought oh crap! Busted! That is so freakin’ true and I never would have seen that. Thank you soooo much for this comment! (Actually I think I’m a little red-faced at the moment.
) And that walk through the forest? I would SO enjoy that. I just admire you so much, hon. {{{Shannon}}}
LikeLiked by 1 person
This post is so important. A book you may like to read is “Self-Compassion” by Dr Kristin Neff, where it highlights, like you have, that there is a difference between self-compassion and self-absorbance, and people usually fear that the former will lead to the latter. However, that’s simply not true; you can love yourself and still be a compassionate person to others around you.
Thank you for starting a discussion about this. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, there’s a big misconception about that, I think. Not surprising when we live in a me, me, me world. Thanks for the book recommendation. I’ll add it to my TBR list! 😀
LikeLike
I think we all struggle with this – it’s part of the journey, as you say. We are so more willing to love and forgive others than ourselves. Having said that, my years of learning and inner work have taught me to be gentle and loving to myself. I need to do that so I have an abundance of love to share with others 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I found myself wondering after I wrote this post how my life might have been different if I had learned this as a young woman. Learned to be kinder to myself.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Perhaps you weren’t ready then. If I’ve learnt anything at all, it’s all an incremental process. And yet, if the lesson hasn’t been learnt it will keep re-appearing until it is
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hard way to learn a lesson sometimes, isn’t it…
LikeLike
Brilliant post, thanks! I’ve spent the last three months working on this very area – much to my surprise because I thought I had it sorted! The damage that resulted in my not caring for myself was deeper than I thought and so, in the dregs of winter, my past has raised it’s head again only this time I am not lamenting it (the way I did when I was a younger woman). This time I’m trying to accept what happened (because I can’t change it) so I can finally accept (and like!) myself. It’s a work in progress but I have to believe I’m worth it. We all are.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You know, I think my concentrated effort to learn to live in the present moment instead of the past and the future was my biggest help with this for some reason. Though I sure can’t explain that comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hence my attraction to Buddhism, Cheryl. It’s all about living in the present. It’s not easy, though … I’m on a huge learning curve here. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes you are! And I’m anticipating some posts about it with much interest! 😀
LikeLike
I got this!!! 😊😊😊😊😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes mam! YOU helped teach me! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
We’ve helped each other! ❤️ Love ya C!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Back in the sixties my meditation master, a Thai Monk called Vorosak Candamitto, used to say to me that you had to give love to yourself first so that you had love to share with others. Seemed to make sense.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Sure wish someone had told me that about 50 years ago when I was an awkward teenager! 😀
LikeLike
This is wisdom.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, Ngobesing. I’m learnin’. (It’s not true that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks!) 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: Sandbox Writing Challenge #53 — Legacy | Impromptu Promptlings
Amen to this…that said, I am definitely a work in progress on this front!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, if there’s one thing I’ve learned this year doing these prompts out of Roberta Allen’s book, it’s that it’s not about arriving, it’s ALL ABOUT THE JOURNEY. 🙂 So we’re ok, Lori!!!
LikeLike
My journey must be from the perspective of a snail!
LikeLiked by 1 person