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This was the quote from my Daily Calm book this morning (sans picture).

thursday_quote

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I LOVE leaves. I love this picture almost as much as I love this Carl Jung quote. I’ve used the quote on here before, but it’s not a quote that I’ve been able to fully grasp. I’m still trying to learn what it means. But I’m getting there. I’ve pondered and pondered it and I’m wondering if it means we have a tendency to want to fit in all the roles our family, our friends, the world wants to put us in.

Thinking back to high school I can see how someone would have assumed I REALLY wanted to be a secretary. I was GREAT at shorthand. I could write 140 words per minute. I knew how to organize any kind of office material. Had been trained on how to run several kinds of office equipment. I had a TALENT for it. I admit that. So everyone pushed me in that direction. In fact, I got a full scholarship to go become a secretary. I did. I ended up working for Utah State University Extension Service — and I hated every minute of it.

The trouble was, no one had asked ME what I WANTED to do with my life. If they had, they would have found I wanted to be an English teacher. I thought… Ok. I was pretty sure. But my folks kept saying, “If you can take shorthand, you can ALWAYS get a job!” (Unfortunately it wasn’t too long after that that shorthand gave way to dictating machines! o_O ) So for years and years while I worked at being a secretary/office manager, I DREAMED of being an English teacher. It made me unhappy.

I didn’t have the stamina to stand up to my folks and say being a secretary wasn’t what I wanted to do for the simple reason I’d never looked inside my heart to discover if that WAS what I wanted to do. And I’ve come to realize that until we do that, until we get to know ourselves, who we are, what we want, what we DON’T want, everything within our world of roles is likely to remain just quivering dreams because what we REALLY need is to awaken to who we are. Why don’t they have courses about THAT in high school?

Unfortunately I don’t think I was ever encouraged to look inside to discover my purpose. I don’t know if it’s changed in school counselors’ offices today, if young people are commonly given the advice to examine what their values are, their goals, the purpose they feel they may have in life before they make their most important decisions about where to go from high school. Looking inside involves all those things.

I know it’s trendy now to explore your inner world. But I’m not sure parents, teachers, employers are always happy when people set out to do that. They want life to be uncomplicated, tidy. They want folks to be stored neatly in the slots assigned to them so they (the parents, teachers, employers, spouses) can get on with their own lives. Or so it seems to me. And looking inside can often be messy and inconvenient to others.

I don’t know why I’m rattling on about this for the umpteenth time since I started blogging. I guess because deep inside I’m still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. So MAYBE I’ll keep blogging about it till I figure it out? If you get sick of listening, let me know and I’ll shut up. 😉

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Girl Banner Text

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Percival Crop`
(I know why she rattles on and on
about this… She LOVES to hear
herself talk! 😀  Shhhhhhhh…
Don’t tell her I said that. She’ll
put me in a drawer! 😉 )

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Picture Credits:
Quote — VALUES.COM
Girl on road — nomadicalsabbatical.com
Percy — moi

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