Have you ever tried to change someone in your life?
How’d that work out for ya?
On the surface this seems like such an easy question. OF COURSE I’ve tried to change people! But the truth is, I think the only people I’m really guilty of doing that with are my kids. And I don’t know if that counts because isn’t that what parents are supposed to do? Help to shape their kids into successful adults? Ah, but then I guess I’m STILL trying to do that with my adult children. Well, at least one of them!
But these questions confound me for a reason. I don’t usually go out of my way to try to change anyone. I’m too lazy for one thing. It’s easier to just avoid them altogether!!! But in those important relationships I have I guess I may be guilty of using what could be construed as a “back door method” of trying to get people to change. At least I THINK it’s a method to get them to change. Or is it?
I’m talking about just telling people what I want. Is that a healthy thing to do, to say to your spouse, for example, “I would like a few more hugs today, please…” Or is that just another way to manipulate people? I only ask because honestly I’m not sure. I know it’s very HARD for me to ask for what I want or (more importantly feel I) need.
So I guess I have to answer this question by saying truthfully, I don’t know. I’ve never SET OUT to change someone, made them my pet project (unless you wanna count getting Bran to clean up his room). But I also can’t say I haven’t pressured others to change. Or IS articulating what you honestly need a covert way of trying to change people? I just don’t know…
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