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blogging101, Family, Journaling, Reflections, Sandbox Writing Challenge, Uncategorized, Writing 101, Writing Prompts
Another Sandbox Writing Challenge I know I can’t really answer at the moment. Last week we were asked:
In your life, how do you find the balance
between being alone and being with others?
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My life has gone from being over-weighted on the social side (pre-2003) to being heavy on the alone side with no balance in between. I think that’s partly because I’m such an all-or-nothing sort of person. When I get involved with something (raising kids, jobs, church, enjoying time with his lordship or the girls) it gets pretty easy for me to get caught up and lost in those things to the exclusion of having some “me” time. (And being home alone is NOT, imho, the same as “me” time. In fact, maybe a better question might have been what does “me” time look like for ME?)
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It has taken me 15 years to become aware of the real, healthy need for “me” time. At least I think. Then again I may have always known it but not known what to do with myself. I have probably self-sabotaged a lot over the years. I think it’s odd that just as I was beginning to understand how important that was, our life is in flux again.
So at the moment all I can say is I haven’t found that balance. For right now I’m grabbing hold of the moments I have by myself at home. Oddly I don’t do anything most of the time unless I get on here. I enjoy just sitting and soaking up the silence. I seldom ever even put any music on. I’m not sure what that solitary behavior is about, but for now all I can do is go with it and see where it leads.
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Picture Source: Stella Tesori
Impromptu Promptlings 
That’s great to hear you are in a good place. For me, time to be alone is essential, and now I have realized that introverts like me get worn out by people, whereas extroverts get stimulated, I no longer feel guilty about turning down invitations or avoiding crowds.
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I hear you, Denzil. I figured out a long time ago I’m an Ambivert with Introvert leanings. Especially as I’ve gotten older. (Of course it might be due to pure cussed laziness, too. :D) I think there’s TOO MUCH noise in the world these days for me.
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Ambivert? That’s a new one for me. I am guessing a bit of both?
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I JUST learned that term listening to a TED Talk the other day. I looked it up. Here’s what I found…
Flexible: Ambiverts can typically be adaptive to context and situations more easily. Stable: According to psychologist Hans Eysenck, who coined the term “ambivert” in 1947, ambiverts offer a good balance between the hypersensitivity of some introverts and the domineering attitude of some extroverts.
I think for me it depends a LOT on the plain old mood I’m in! 😀
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Sorry, that comes across as terse – not meant to. Just sayin’ that being like that is good too – I do it sometimes. It’s enervating in it’s own right. Downtime. Solitude. Quietness – good stuff 🙂
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No worries, mate! LOL I think I’m coming up on that event horizon (if I can use that term for it) where if I don’t move my keister I will just get sucked into the black hole of inertia and never be able to escape. There might be a little bit of depression mixed in there, too.
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You’ve had a lot on your plate, so I can understand the inertia. I guess it’s about managing how it manifests – xxx
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And what’s wrong with enjoying silence and just being ?!
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Hm… That’s a good question. I guess it would depend on what I’m doing while I’m quietly being, ’cause sitting still all day has not been particularly good for my A1C, if you know what I mean.
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It’s about balance, isn’t it ! Funnily that word seems to be popping up all over the place at present !!
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You’ve touched a nerve here, Calen. I’ve also struggled in the past for ‘me time’ but I think, in the last 15 months, I’ve become too solitary and quite introverted. The thing is, I’m enjoying it; I’m turning down invitations and finding reasons to avoid places where there are too many people and too much noise. Like you, however, I wonder if my ‘personal space pendulum’ has swung too far and at other times I could care less, particularly abut what others think of my withdrawing from society. Great blog post, much to ponder. Thanks
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Janet, I read your comment yesterday and have been pondering on it ever since because it sent my thinking in a direction I didn’t expect. I’m wondering this morning if part of my dilemma is that I don’t often have a CHOICE in which side of my ambivert personality I’m going to wear on any given day because I’m home not necessarily because I want to be, but because I have no transportation for the most part. I’m wondering if I’m becoming more introverted because I don’t have the choice to get out of the house when I want to — only when I need to in order to run errands, meet appointments, etc. I have to make arrangements to keep a car. I might feel different if I felt more autonomous, independent. (Hm… I think I need to pitch that idea again of getting an old beater for me to drive around town!)
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Oh, I am a big supporter of choice, Calen, my memoir tended to focus on it as a crucial right for all humans, so thanks for your insight. I, too, don’t always have access to our one car, but I am close to two different bus routes that can pretty much get me anywhere in my little city. I’m fully behind your pitch to get a car to ‘run around’ in.I think it will make a huge difference. For me, however, introversion is becoming more a choice than anything, but that is because all I want to do is write (and answer comments!) Cheers, Janet
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Bus routes! I’d give my eye teeth to have one close to us. We kind of live in the country suburbs, and I have to hike about a mile and a half up to the highway to catch the bus. Suffice it to say I’m not THAT ambitious! LOL You know my friend Amy just retired. Yesterday was her first non-working day, and everyone is asking her what she’s going to do now, like look for another job? I told her to take a year off to catch up with herself. You probably have had to do that, as well. At least from reading your blog I’d say your life got pretty intense and busy a lot!
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I envy you your solitary time… everyone I know seems to have the idea that they are the one exception to the rule that I need a little selfish me time… sigh…
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But thinking through that I realized “me” time should actually accomplish one thing — to energize a person. And I’m not sure just sitting on me arse staring off into space energizes anything (except, perhaps, the dust bunnies!).
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You could always justify it by saying you’re meditating 😉
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Actually I AM meditating every morning with Calm.com. But that’s at least accomplishing something. Deep breathing is good for a body. 😀
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