We were stopped at a red light driving home from town the other day when suddenly a young man in the car next to us in the center lane opened his door and jumped out running across three lanes of traffic while the young woman in the driver’s seat stared after him shaking her head. It seemed obvious there had been a disagreement of some kind, and all the way home we speculated about what had happened.
I guess that’s why Kiefer Sutherland’s (as President Tom Kirkman on Designated Survivor) comment at the end the show’s episode Wednesday night struck me. He was thanking a roomful of people for their service in the wake of an airplane hijacking and made the comment that their job had been to serve and guard the people on that plane. People, he said, who each had their stories (including his doctor friend who had died).
How many times have I sat at Starbucks scribbling away in my journal when I’ve caught snatches of conversation and wondered about the subject matter and the relationship of those talking? Have you ever done that? Has someone else’s words ever created a picture prompt in your head?
As I reflected on Kirkrman’s word “story” I started to wonder how our perception of people would change if we looked at them as “stories” rather than “others”. Especially in the political climate that’s been thrown like a shroud across this country. What would happen if we took the time to really look at someone NOT like us and tried to imagine THEIR story, put ourselves in THEIR shoes. It’s really true that you don’t know someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
What would it take, I wondered, as I shut off the TV, to get people to remember that (as Ian Maclaren said) everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle wherever they fall on the spectrum. And more importantly, that everyone you meet is a reflection of yourself in some way… We all have something to learn about ourselves from everyone we meet.
Do you think we would ever be able to shift our perception of people to something more generous and respectful by considering their human stories?
`
`
Picture Source:
red light — Insurance Institute for Highway Safety
Starbucks — vietnamcentre.wordpress.com
“Others” — Pew Research Center
Impromptu Promptlings 
Unfortunately, people seem to be so caught up in their own lives and biases that they don’t make room in their lives for compassion. I didn’t feel this way until I moved to rural Ohio. Even the children are taught to stay to themselves here. So, very odd and sad.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Coming from rural Ohio, I get that. Those closed communities can be so stifling. It’s that way here in Utah with the Mormon communities, too. (I’d give my eye teeth to get a Chili’s or an Applebee’s restaurant in our neighborhood. But can’t because they sell liquor!)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think, if we comsoidered others strories rather than people we might feel a bit more for them for we have our own stories and some of them make us cry.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes they do. There are always going to be people in the world whom we could NEVER connect with, but there are so many more we could…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wise words, Cheryl, wise words. I think this is why some folk decide to write. It is one way to ‘walk around in another person’s shoes,’ as you said. Even ‘made up’ characters are, I believe, a composite of the people we have encountered in life and the stories we create about them help us to understand how they tick. Great post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah. Sounds like good practice, doesn’t it? Have a disagreement with a crabby, overworked vet’s assistant who treats you horribly (which my sis did yesterday)? When you get home, sit down and write about her from HER perspective. Is she worrying about her kid who is in trouble at school again? Is her mother passing away? I don’t take the time to write about that often, but I’m always thinking about that stuff in the back of my head. Maybe I need to do an “others” journal for writing practice?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like the sound of an ‘others’ journal. In terms of my PhD research, I can imagine it could bring a great deal of healing and personal growth. (I’ll leave it, however, for another researcher to explore). It could also become another facet of a blog. You are brilliant. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nope. Actually got that idea of writing yourself into someone else’s shoes from my creative writing class in 9th grade. 😀
LikeLike
Lovely thought. I guess it’s really seeing people. Trying to understand them. Thinking about what brought them here. Not seeing them generically.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A thought-provoking post. There is so much potential for us to make the world a better place, and understanding the struggles of others is a good start. But it is hard to step out of our egocentric core – some can do it naturally, for others it has to be a conscious effort, and for some it is impossible..
Overheard snippets from long ago – “She lent him one of her dwarfs”.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hey, Derek. Good to see you posting again. I will be around directly to read your blog! What you say is so true. And I find myself asking if people really DO believe the world can change enough for there to be some kind of peace. But as you said, about the only thing we can do is make things better as much as we can where we are. Bloom where we’re planted, so to speak. 🙂 (Gotta ask this.. What’s up with the dwarf? LOL)
LikeLike
Interesting question. I try to see the best in people and usually I’m able to let go of the little irritations. However, there have been times when someone has done something horrendous where I realised there were limits to my empathy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Unfortunately that’s true for all of us. I guess the question is — at least I’ve been pondering on it for awhile — is whether peace is actually possible. I don’t think so…
LikeLike
Cheryl – that reminded me of the book I wrote earlier this year (still waiting editing). I have had it in my head for thirty odd years – since my father died. I was standing in the ward after he had died and looking out the window. Outside all these different people were going about their lives. Each one of them had a story. The only connection was that they happened to pass that window while I was looking out.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your comment really spoke to me. At times like that we think, how can the world keep going — and always in slow motion it feels like — when our world is falling apart. Those are sacred moments I think… A lot to be learned from them.
LikeLike
We are often far too quick to judge on just outward appearances. Compassion, empathy, an ability to see the human-ness in others is a quality worth cultivating.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Empathy. Judy mentioned that, too. I think that’s the operative word when I think of world peace.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I read Vlad the Impalor’s story a while back – wow, he had a tough childhood! All the same, his behaviour was a tad extreme…
I think that hearing a person’s story would make some people more compassionate, but leave others cold. Maybe our level of compassion depends partly upon what we have experienced on the past.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s so true. And that’s why the other folks need to hear OUR stories as well. It’s always a two-way street, I think.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m all for sharing…
LikeLiked by 1 person
to use a high falutin phrase, we need to have a “collective paradigm shift,” and like ephiphanies of individuals, there is always the possibility, but no guarantees.
if you get a chance and are able to find it, a small 1990 film called “Mind Walk”, which is basically three people (a physist, a politician and a poet) talking about this collective shift while they walk about Mont Saint-Michael is worth the watch. It does have Sam “Law and Order” Watterson playing the politician,
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds interesting. Will I be discouraged? I’ll look for it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
No, I would say you would be discouraged. From my point of view, that one can believe that a change is possible is all one can ask for. (I wouldn’t trust anyone who said it was a for sure deal).I would read about it on the internet first, though. Since it is basically three people walking around and talking about the topic, it is not the most “exciting” of films.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I believe what you describe is empathy which many of our leaders seem to be sorely lacking! I agree with all you say..
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely! And if it’s not demonstrated by those we’ve entrusted the running of this country to, how are others going to learn? I so agree with you, Judy!
LikeLike