This post is from Karl Duffy’s blog at Mindfulbalance. Normally I would just play nice and reblogged it, but this is so where I am right now that I didn’t want to have to go looking for it later. I suspect there are a lot of us that have gone through choppy weather this year. I hope it comforts you the way it did me… Part of it is a quote from Mark Nepo’s book, What to Do When You’re Broken
Another storm passing over parts of Ireland today: high winds, then cold and snow. A good metaphor for our life. Sometimes we are subject to cold winds from an unexpected direction:
Being tossed and turned by circumstances is part of life’s weather. You may trip on obstacles, hurting someone you love. You may find yourself alone, without the person with whom you thought you’d spend the rest of your life.
How do we meet these challenges?
For me, I try to remember, when breaking, that every crack is an opening. No matter how harsh the experience, something is always opened within us; and what is opened is always more important than what breaks us. We might experience cruelty or unfairness or indifference or the brutality of chance — all of which are difficult and life-changing. And while cruelty and injustice are never excusable and need to be rectified, we must not get stuck in our list of legitimate grievances, or we will never be able to enter the depth that becomes available for being open.
It’s hard to keep this deeper understanding of life in view when in pain, when in fear, when confused and worried. But this is the nature of being broken. “To be broken is no reason to see all things as broken.” This notion has been a profound teacher for me in meeting difficulty. Though it’s understandable to be consumed with what we’re going through, it’s essential to remember that all of life is not where we are. In fact, this is when we need the aliveness and vitality of everything that is not us. When closed, we need to open. When fearful, we need to trust again. When feeling lost, we need to remember that we are in the stream of life, which is never lost.
Mark Nepo, What to Do When You’re Broken
The “weather” here is clearing a bit, but there’s another “storm” on the horizon. His nibs is now driving after knee surgery, which has made things much easier. The driving in rush hour traffic was REALLY stressing me out and sucking up my energy. But after a visit to the neurologist on Friday, the doc is not at all satisfied with where I am in this process of getting through the Myasthenia Gravis. He finally admitted he’d only worked with one MG patient in his career. So I am being referred to a different neurologist with much more experience this Friday.
My reaction was to get mad — two days later when at home where I could contain my temper tantrum. We’ve essentially been “messing around” with this for six months. And now he thinks I may have been misdiagnosed. So does his nibs. The problem is, I don’t know HOW I’m supposed to be feeling physically. For all I knew, THIS struggle was the new norm for me. To say I was frustrated would be putting it rather mildly.
Anyway, Karl’s devotion up there was what I needed to read today…