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The Sandbox Writing Challenge 2018 — Exercise 17

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4559326312_387x411What is one of the worst emotional storms you’ve
weathered in your life?

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I remember this prompt from the first time around because we’d only had one MAJOR disaster in our lives up till then. His nibs’ colon had ruptured thanks to a bout of diverticulitis that took three surgeries to fix.

Then ensued years of just normal “family drama” stuff like two broken front teeth for Bran from trying to stuff a basketball and falling on his face three weeks before the band trip to California — he played trumpet and French horn. His nibs getting laid off for a year. A proposal for Stef from someone we were not particularly impressed with. The death of all four of our parents… These things are the stuff of life. And as bad as they are at the time, they’re not nearly as horrid as this cycle of pneumonia, Myasthenia Gravis, and A-fib I find myself in.

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I never know from day to day what I’m going to feel like, so it’s difficult to make plans. But as hard as it is to be dealing this autoimmune disorder, having it knock his nibs off his axis is probably the hardest thing of all. That’s been on my mind ever since I posted this prompt on Tuesday. In fact I left comments about this on a couple blogs the other day because it was circulating in my head. (I heartily encourage you to stop by Margo’s That Little Voice and Hélène’s Willow Poetry and have a visit with these two lovely ladies!) This is what I wrote:

…His nibs…is one of those people who gets so depressed because he played by the book and expected to get from A to Z  with no deviations from his plan. Now, after my diagnoses with an autoimmune disorder he is majorly depressed. All he wants to do is pull the PAST around him to enfold him like a warm blanket, and it has puddled around his feet so much he can’t even begin to walk.

In the meantime, I’m trying to look toward the future, trying to visualize what that might look like for us now. I want to clean out closets, sort and get rid of other junk we’ve kept for years, rearrange furniture (I’ve already had to rearrange everything in the kitchen to be accessible — the pans are now in the linen closet in the hallway), anything to make life easier, fresher for us. If we don’t do those things, how will we know what our future could look like? His nibs’ inability to come to terms with the fact that our life is skipping from C to W then back to J has caused as much, or even more, stress than the medical issues themselves. And that’s saying a lot since A-fib can be fatal.

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So emotionally I’m all over the map trying to keep Arn on an even keel while having days I just want to stay in bed. I would say for me this is the most emotional storm I’ve ever had to weather. Yes, sometimes life just sucks. All you can do is wear a hazmat suit and PRAY for the best!

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Picture Credit:
Woman in Chair: www.vitalhealthcda.com
Myasthenia Gravis Chart: Lumen Learning
HAZMAT Suit: Toon Vectors