This was supposed to be a Sunday Sundries post for Mother’s Day, but we were so busy running around I didn’t have a chance to sit down and and put my thoughts on
paper the blog. So this morning I resorted to voice mail on the cell phone! Truth is, on Mother’s Day I opted for a blended, raspberry margarita instead! (Alcohol should NOT be allowed to taste so good! 😀 )
Anyway, last Thursday I was vacuuming and dusting in the bedroom (which to my shame has likely not been done since I got out of the hospital a year ago — I wouldn’t admit that to just anyone, but you guys already know what a flake I am…) when I noticed there were a lot of little tiny scratches on our dresser. Had they just been on the bottom of the dresser I wouldn’t have thought anything about them, because I run into it with the vacuum all the time. But the scratches were up higher on the drawers — all the drawers. And for the life of me I don’t know how in the world they got there.
Now we’ve had that dresser for 46 years, but I can think of no time when I would have hit it with something and scratched it the way it is. And regardless of all the dents and mars, the dresser continues to function admirably, even through the apparent abuse I plainly never noticed.
I sat there on the bed and pondered on it awhile. I guess the reason I ended up thinking about motherhood was because Mother’s Day was coming up. I couldn’t help but reflect on how it can be that same way when you’re a mom. Sometimes you say or do things that you’re not even aware of that may leave a scratch or dent on one of your kids. You’re not being mean or spiteful, you may have just said something carelessly that went right over your head, but not theirs. Perhaps you failed to listen when they were trying to talk to you about something they felt was important. Or you did listen but your back was to them while you were doing dishes and you never made eye contact, so they never knew if you heard.
I decided it was little things like that that left teeny tiny scratches on my kids. Not anything big to cause an emotional trauma, but still something that may have wounded them in some small way. And yet in spite of those little mars and imperfect connections, our kids “usually” continue to function admirably… Now I could spend a lot of time feeling guilty about that. But then I realized that speaking without thinking is a human trait that we all are saddled with. Even our kids.
I got out my can of pledge and gave the dresser a good spit and shine. And I thought this is what I need to do for my kids and grandkids from time to time just to make sure they know I know those little things are important. Funny thing was, they spent Mother’s Day doing that very thing for me.
It was really terrific Mother’s Day. Probably the best one I’ve had in years. Interesting how a little bit of awareness and reflection can give life a deeper richer meaning.
“For the wise have always known that no one can make much of his life until self-searching has become a regular habit, until he is able to admit and accept what he finds, and until he patiently and persistently tries to correct what is wrong.” (Bill W.)
“The journey into self-love and self-acceptance must begin with self-examination. … until you take the journey of self-reflection, it is almost impossible to grow or learn in life.” (Iyanla Vanzant)