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soulmateSoul-mates… An interesting subject… Do I believe in them? Yeah, I suppose so. Do I think they’re a great thing and everyone ought to have one? Heavens no!

When I stop and think of the energy that would have to go into trying to keep that kind of relationship alive and healthy (if it can even be done), it makes me want to go to bed for a week. There would seem to be such an emotional high that goes along with sharing the same heart, the same soul, and sometimes the same mind/brain that it would have a way, I’d think, of sucking up pert near everything else in your life — at least your emotional life, if NOT everything else you need to tend to.

And the grief that could come with the ending of such a relationship could be almost unbearable. I would imagine you really would feel as if you’ve lost a part of your soul; a bit like losing your virginity to your first love. Once it’s gone, you can’t get it back. Those emotions could overwhelm and totally swamp you leaving you one hot mess. Your ponies would get all mixed up and stuck in one corral. (I’m from the West, what can I say?) The destruction could be life-long.

I admit to having no first-hand experience with it, but I have to ask myself, would it be worth it? Can’t answer that, never been there or done that. But believe it or not I’m NOT a cynic. While I think the IDEA of finding a soul-mate is romantic and passionate, I believe finding an Anam Cara, a soul-FRIEND is a heck of a lot more satisfying and less dangerous! And I think there’s room in our lives for many of them.

I pulled this definition of Anam Cara or Soul-Friend off Google:

The Meaning of Anam Cara

Anam Cara means “Soul Friend.” Anam is the Gaelic word for soul and Cara is the word for friend. In Celtic tradition, an Anam Cara is a teacher, companion or spiritual guide. With the Anam Cara you can share your innermost self to reveal the hidden intimacies of your life, your mind and your heart. This friendship cuts across all convention to create an act of recognition and belonging that joins souls in an ancient and eternal way.

In everyone’s life, there is a great need for an Anam Cara, a soul friend. In this relationship, you are understood as you are, without mask or pretension. When you are understood, you are at home.

Love is the threshold where the divine and human ebb and flow, one into the other. Love is the most real and creative form of human presence. An expression of human consciousness, this love includes a depth of awareness and reverence for presence.

Where consciousness is dulled, distant or blind, the presence grows faint and vanishes. Therefore awareness which brings integration and healing, is one of the greatest gifts of this friendship. As a result, you look, and see, and understand differently. You refine your sensibility and transform your way of being in the world.

The Anam Cara is a loved one who awakens your life in order to free the wild possibilities within you.

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What I particularly like about this definition is, “When you are understood, you are at home.” That’s what I want. Someone I can just be me with. Someone with whom my soul can be “naked and unashamed.” I have a few of them, some in particular I’ve met on these blogs. And that’s where my heart and soul have found their greatest healing. And I wouldn’t trade any of them for a soul-mate. Why would I when they are such great teachers and guides and companions. And most importantly they let me be just who I am. With them I feel like I’ve come home… (Thank you Fim, Plato, Jane, Colls, Amy…)

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Got a soul-mate and/or a best friend? What is it about that person that you love best? Describe them in great detail — leave no important quality out.

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