In The Sandbox Writing Challenge this week Roberta Allen wants to know what we “hunger” for…
I didn’t have to think at all to come up with this answer. Please don’t get me wrong. I LOVE my son. We had to jump through many hoops to have this kid. Having him at home with us has been a blessing. He helps (on occasion) around the house, is more than willing to haul my keister here and there when I don’t have a car, and he’s a real talker (which is kind of a blessing and NOT sometimes when I really want my space). Of our two kids, Bran’s the one that always came home and unloaded about his day.
But he is an ADULT child, and that has its drawbacks. He and Drollery have VERY different opinions about LOTS of things, especially politics, and dinners often ending up leaving us with indigestion (not always from my cooking!). Learning to treat him as an adult renting a room from us has been nearly impossible because he’s still our kid. And did I mention that there are times I end up playing maid? Or wanting my own space? (We have a TINY house!)
The hardest thing in all of this is that Drollery and I only had four months of empty nest syndrome after Bran and Mariel got married in 2007 before they moved in with us. Theirs was a very stormy relationship and they are now working on getting a divorce. So while she has moved back to Florida, Bran is still with us.
The problem is partners change during their child-rearing days. They aren’t the same people post-kids. When the kids are (or should be) on their own, there needs to be that time to get to know each other again. To figure out who you are not just alone, but together. Michelle Toussaint over at Random Michelle did a post this week about this very thing and it made me sad that I knew so well what she meant. Stop by and have a read about Listening to Road Noise: Assumptions. I bet you’ll identify, too.
So the thing I hunger for the most in this life is for that time for me and Drollery to get to know each other again (and by default that would mean that Bran would be able to move on with his life). I haven’t given up hope, but sometimes it’s really difficult to even imagine it will ever come to be…
Bran — moi
family — www.scarymommy.com