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blogging101, Family, Journaling, Memories & Reflections, Movies, Quotes, Uncategorized, White Christmas, Writing 101, Writing Prompts
I have once again taken up the gauntlet of the 3 Days 3 Quotes Challenge thrown down by Ms. Jane over at Making it write! Today I pick up the glove for day 2… 🙂 (I sense a theme going on here. I wonder if I have ANOTHER R.W.E. quote written down somewhere.)
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Rings and jewels are not gifts, but apologies for gifts. The only true gift is a portion of thyself. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
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This quote stopped me short the first time I read it because it dared defy the notion I’d believed most of my adult life that my mother really didn’t love me. In that moment I saw her in this quote. She was a woman who was not given to verbal affirmation or demonstrations of affection. But she was constantly giving my sister, brother, and me “things.” And not just things she bought, but things she made with her own hands.
One gift in particular stands out in my mind. She had learned to make these “doll lamps” the bottom of which where actually gallon milk jugs with the half body of a doll with the light hardware affixed to the top. She made one for both my sister and me that Christmas. I was in junior high school at the time. We both loved them. Mine reminded me so much of something, but for the life of me I couldn’t put my finger on what.
It wasn’t until 34 years later (two years after she’d passed away) when we were sorting through some things in our house to give away, get rid of, or store that I found the lamp again and it finally dawned on me what it was that was so familiar about that doll. She was dressed in a full length gown of red velvet with white fur trim at the neck, cuffs, and hem. Her hands were enclosed in a white fur muff, and on her head was a matching hat with the same trim.
Now it may have been because Christmas had just passed and we’d watched all our Christmas movies that I finally made the connection, but I suddenly went “well duh!” and realized that mom had dressed MY doll lamp just like Vera Ellen’s character in the end of my favorite movie of all time, White Christmas.
I was flabbergasted after all those years. On the surface it may just seem like something a mom would do, making a doll like her daughter’s favorite character in a movie. But there was a reason I fell in love with Vera Ellen in White Christmas. I totally admired her because she was a marvelous dancer. And my mom was the only person I’d ever told that I wanted to be a ballet dance when I grew up. It was her reaction to my “chubby” excitement and passion that made me put that thought out of my mind forever.
And as it turned out, I grew up a chunky teenager. I’m guessing on more than one occasion mom may have wondered how my body, my life would have been different had she taken what I said seriously and put me in dance. I will always wonder if that doll was her way of giving me the gift of saying she was sorry, if it was one of the few times she tried to give me a gift of herself… I’ll never know for sure, but I choose to believe so.
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Thanks, Jane, for the challenge. I do enjoy these. They help me know what I’m thinkin’! I won’t, however, be nominating anyone. I’ve exhausted my list over the months. But if you would like to join in the challenge, go for it. Just leave a pingback for this post so I can come and read your marvelous quotes!
Picture Credits:
doll lamp — www.pinterest.com
lamp fixture — www.etsy.com
Vera Ellen — angrychicken.typepad.com
harulawordsthatserve said:
This post speaks to me on so many levels. I love the Emerson quote, and my mother too is one who tends to outwardly gift her love rather than speak it or show it. She’s made me some amazing things – mostly clothes, but also a wonderful handbag made of old denim, among other things. Doesn’t sound much, but it was sooooo me! That’s what I love about her gifts, they show she sees me. Your post also reminded me of this wonderful poem by Rabindranath Tagore http://www.yourdailypoem.com/listpoem.jsp?poem_id=1370 Enjoy 🙂 With gratitude, Harula xxx
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calensariel said:
“they show she sees me” You know my folks never did SEE me. They had already basically decided how my life would turn out. I sometimes wonder if I believed their fiction of my life so much I didn’t dare question it and go BACK to school to become an English teacher. Maybe the doll was mom’s way of saying she did see me. But it would have been way too late to do anything about it then. Probably 10 years too late.
That was a beautiful poem, Harula. I actually have a favorite quote by him, too. “Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it.”
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K.L. Allendoerfer said:
Those lamps are so cute! It’s so poignant that she made one for you but somehow never could bring herself to tell you why and you only thought of it years later, when you found the lamp again in storage after she had passed away. I’m glad you could reconnect with her over the lamp again, if only in your dreams.
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calensariel said:
Boy! Wouldn’t I love to have even just a half hour with her again. My folks missed so much. Never even saw any of the grandkids get married, and only one graduated from high school. there’d be lots to talk about.
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janebasilblog said:
I expect you felt exasperated when I dropped this challenge on you, but I’m not sorry I did. This post is a treasure.
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calensariel said:
Nope, I didn’t. I love quotes. Have a whole journal where I collect them. I just wish people would actually say what about the quotes connects with them. Know what I mean? It helps to get to know the person better.
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janebasilblog said:
I agree with you, although I didn’t do that, because I’ve been feeling to stressed to fully focus on anything much…
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Safar Fiertze said:
Ah, we got knitted and sewn garments. I have finally learned to appreciate them. But I did have a good excuse to let go – they no longer fit!
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calensariel said:
LOL Well I think mom quit sewing for us when we went into junior high school (7th grade). You know how preteens freak at anything that looks home made.
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Safar Fiertze said:
Yup, too well!
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Opher said:
Now I never wanted to be a ballet dancer – but ironically I have performed on stage as a ballet dancer in a production of Swan Lake.
Well I exagerate slightly.
I used to organise a Christmas concert at school. We had the whole school together and put on a number of sketches. One of them was a bunch of 7 of us who did a Swan Lake sketch. We had two Sixth Form girls, who were ballerinas, start off and then us five members of staff were the chorus line and shuffled on and did our dance. One was the deputy head, one my Lab tech, one female member of staff, another teacher and me. We were a rather grotesque motley crew who could be described as unsilph-like. We wore tutus (over sports shorts) T-shirts and wellington boots. It culminated in the Maths teacher, who was a large man with a great deal of insulation, performing a solo while we pirhouetted.
The kids were obviously impressed with our prowess as it brought the house down.
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calensariel said:
LMBO! Opher! What a wonderfully interesting side of you!!! 😀 Love it! LOL
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Safar Fiertze said:
The picture you’ve painted in my mind won’t leave – I’m sure I’ll be laughing randomly and insanely for the rest of the day. It was the wellies that did it.
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Soul Gifts said:
Love the dress in the video and the way it just flows! My mum often made gifts. One of the last things she gave all of us girls in the family was a pillow doll. It’s a round cushion with one of those dolls sitting on it and the skirt becomes the top of the cushion.We had one of those toilet roll dolls for years too. TRH’s mum was a great one for crocheting and knitting so we got an assortment of stuff from her one of which was the toilet roll doll when they were in high fashion.
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calensariel said:
My mom made those, too. You know she’d get on a kick and make the new thing for everyone then start all over again with the next thing.
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Soul Gifts said:
Yeah, it was a mum thing back then. The Ladies Guild used to have craft workshops and teach each other the latest whatever.
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calensariel said:
I still have so much of the stuff she made us. LOL Seem unable to let it go.
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