Creativity puts us on a path of self-discovery that takes us deep inside ourselves. As we become more spiritually literate, we may discover that we are more interested in the process than in the end result. (Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat, Spiritual Literacy)
Been thinking about that since I read it this morning, and I must say I’m inclined to agree. Creativity causes me to not be able to be still. I used to flit from one project to another. Needlepoint, cross stitch, tatting, writing, and a blue million other things. But then I stumbled upon that path of self-discovery, and all of a sudden, to my surprise, my creativity turned into a shovel. And just like the Brussats said, it drove me deep inside myself. I’ve been intently excavating my “soul cave” since I first read Sarah Ban Breathnach’s Something More: Excavating Your Authentic Self years ago.
But this past two years as I’ve worked at my “dig site” (Impromptu Promptlings) I think I’ve finally exhausted my archaeological curiosity. I’ve sorted through every pile of debris in my cave looking for the REAL me. I’ve also taken a close look at my collections of treasures. I found lots of pieces of things I’d forgotten (some good, some bad), things I thought I’d do when I grew up (some realistic, some not), visions of how I thought my life would be at this age (rolls eyes…). There are all kinds of pieces of me, and I have now commenced the delicate work of fitting them back together.
I really thought I’d be able to come up with the perfect me. But then Plato, over at Plato’s Groove, said something the other day that made me strongly suspect I would NOT be like what I thought I would. I mean, how does one KNOW what they were originally meant to be like, act like before life got hold of them?
Plato pointed out that I am NOT my own Creator — am I? If I am, then I have a lot to answer for in my life and I should be able to fix the things about me I think need fixed — shouldn’t I? That would be my responsibility, my job. But one truth I DID dig up over the past two years is that I am NOT my own Creator. And it’s very likely that even if I COULD put myself back together the way I think I should be, I’d probably never be satisfied with the end result because, as Plato also said, I COULD be mechanically perfect, but I might not have a soul. That is something I cannot give myself…
So while I’m continuing to “glue” a few healthy pieces to the cracked pot that I am :D, I’m done digging around in my cave, and I’m done expecting to find the real me.
But guess what! It’s just as the Brussats said, I’m hooked! I’m now more interested in the PROCESS of digging than in the end result. I’m not sure what kind of creative endeavor that will lead me to next, but it ought to be interesting since I’ve had a lot of experience digging!