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I think I’ve finally figured out why it’s been so hard for me to get back in the habit of blogging. . .or reading. . .or writing. . .or cross stitching. . . At first I thought it was because I made so many mistakes when I was typing. This, unfortunately, is very true. The MG has caused my thumbs to droop and they’re always in the way. I make more mistakes than actual words. So it takes me forever to get anything posted on the blog.
But I realized this week that is NOT the reason I’m having trouble doing all these things. Before I managed to get Myasthenia Gravis, I had a great routine. My mornings were spent sorting out the house which left my afternoons free for whatever I wanted to do.
Sadly, it now takes me all day to do what I could do in the morning before I had a Myasthenia flareup in January. And I’ve found that every time I want to sit down and cross stitch or work on the blog I’m somewhat overcome by my own work ethic and I feel guilty.
I’ve been telling his nibs for a while now that I feel like I’ve lost myself the last couple years. I finally understand why I’m feeling that way, I think. It’s because I’m not doing all the things that made me ME!
Creativity is part of our make up. It’s in our genes. When we can’t be creative in whatever way that looks like for each of us, our personalities can really change. I have been feeling two dimensional for so long now.
And I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to rewire my brain. I’m tired of feeling like a paper doll wobbling around this house all the time trying to keep up with the housework.
So I joined the last summer session of Camp NaNoWriMo (that runs the whole month of July) in the hopes that allowing myself to work on some writing for an hour or so a day will snap me out of the doldrums and help me get over that stupid rule that I made for myself.
Does any of that makes sense, or am I reaching? Have any of you made vows to yourself that you find later are really hard to keep? And do we insist on keeping them at the expense of who we really are? This curious mind wants to know if I’m the only nit wit in the world?
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Picture Source:
2 Dimensions — Math is Fun
Creativity — TNW
Paper Doll — BBC
Camp NaNoWriMo — http://campnanowrimo.org
Impromptu Promptlings 
Cheryl, I do my morning routine that includes reading and journaling first thing in the morning so last night’s dishes are rarely done before noon. Maybe you could reverse your schedule and do your ‘me’ things first and all those other chores later. Because really isn’t your creative expression, your art forms more important than a vacuumed floor? Just a suggestion. (I’ll do anything to put off doing domestic chores! 🙂 )
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LuAnne, you are a girl after my own heart! That’s exactly the conclusion I came to this weekend! LOL ❤
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You go, Girl!
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As a yoga teacher, I spend a lot of time encouraging my lovely students to take time out for themselves, yet often fail to follow my own advice; a cobbler’s children are worst shod! You’re so right about creativity. Giving yourself permission to sit and doodle, knit, stitch, write, arrange flowers or whatever feeds the soul. And no, you’re not the only nitwit.
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It’s so good to hear other people struggle a bit with this, too. Means a lot to me coming from a teacher, Julia! ❤
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Creativity is part of our make up. It’s in our genes. When we can’t be creative in whatever way that looks like for each of us, our personalities can really change. I have been feeling two dimensional for so long now.
Yes!!!
Miss you.
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It’s so good to hear from you, my friend! I’ve missed being enlightened by your perspective on life and nature! Trust all is well with you and yours? ❤
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Well, but busy. Have you heard? I’ve written a screenplay. It’s being produced. Production begins next year.
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No kiddin’!!! That’s so great, Scott! Please drop me a note and tell me what it’s about and all the juicy details if you get a minute. I would so love to hear about it! ❤
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Seem we have all been there, done that, and are still in the mist of it. Is it an age thing or is it the weather?
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As much as I hate to say it, I think it’s just one of those awkward parts of life. 😦 Lordy, I HOPE it’s not an age thing!!!)
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Not a nit-wit at all. You are reaching, but reaching in a good way. I’m sorry you are finding it so much harder to keep on top of things. I don’t suppose it would be any help at all asking you to turn a blind eye to the odd task and see what happens if you do it half as often as a kind of experiment? Being creative is just as important to your particular essential nature as keeping everything ship shape.
Blogging is a habit – it’s easy to fall into it, and just as easy to fall out of it. I know the longer I leave it between posts, the less I feel like writing any, yet I do enjoy it… it’s become a part of my life.
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You’re absolutely right, my friend. Perhaps I should “play” in the morning and “sort” in the afternoon — and tell myself it’s OK if I want to do that. How long does it take to BREAK a habit??? ❤
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I agree with Susan – and you. I remember my doctor telling me once, ‘the housework can wait, looking after yourself can’t’. And if blogging helps you to look after yourself, if it brings you joy, then that should be your priority. As for being a nitwit, you’re not rowing that boat solo – the world is full of them. But here’s the catch – they make life interesting. Take care, my friend.
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“I remember my doctor telling me once, ‘the housework can wait, looking after yourself can’t’.” Actually, I have a written prescription for that from a counselor that I was seeing years ago. It said: Cheryl has my permission to take care of herself. Evan Hanson. I still have it all these years later… 😀
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Oh Cheryl,
So lovely to see your post which I can identify with entirely and, apart from the myaesthenia gravis but something else, just sounds like me.
Earlier this week I decided to take a temporary break from blogging as I felt it was disrupting my daily journalling practice which tends to keep me grounded.I will be writing a post to that effect and see where that takes me.
Thanks so much for your words of encouragement as always.
Take care and enjoy your writing month.
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I SO hear you, Margaret. I’ve been a journnaler for years, and that’s exactly what happened to me. Maybe that’s why I feel a bit unmoored these days. I just looked, and my last journal entry was 8/13/18… 😦 Thanks for sharing, hon. ❤
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You’re welcome ❤️😉
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Great to hear from you Cheryl. I always look forward to your posts.
I know just what you mean. I can’t settle while there are things that need doing. I try to clear the decks first. It must be a pain to find yourself in that position. But we all need creativity. It is not an extra but an essential – every bit as important as anything else!
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“It is not an extra but an essential – every bit as important as anything else!” Your life is certainly a testimony to that, Opher. I know few people who exercise their creativity the way you do! ❤
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It all makes perfect sense to me Calen…. As you know life has been a battle for me, over the last nine months. My reading and blogging was non existent, but somehow I managed to keep writing my poems, up to 5 poems a week, some good, some bad, and that seemed to satisfy my eager mind to keep active. And now I’m retraining myself to do blogging and reading. I’ve mentally told myself to ease my way back into it… and don’t do too much, nor try to over-achieve….. small steps at a time… I set goals… but they were relatively small targets….. and as the weeks went by , I gradually increased my efforts…… I treated my re-blogging, in the same way as my rehab therapist treated my recovery from my 2 stroke, I couldn’t rush into….. everything was a gradual thing…. And there was always down days and backward steps, but my therapists were always at me … “that’s all part of the deal”,.. so don’t be hard on yourself…. they were so reassuring and their help was invaluable…… So here I am applying the same principles to my blogging and reading………. Hope my comment is of some sort of assistance…. Best of luck dear Calen….. xx
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“…and that seemed to satisfy my eager mind to keep active.” I also think that’s what happened with the blogging. It became enough of a satisfaction that I finally let my journaling slip away after years and years of being so faithful. (I was doing Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages from “The Artist’s Way”). For years I did a second journal that had to do with the whole family. For any years I sat at the kitchen table on Saturday mornings and type The Saturday Morning Kitchen Khronicle. It was about my family’s goings on during the previous week. I miss that. I remember how over the moon I was when I could post colored pix on it for the first time! I should drag that out and work on it again. It’s only once a week.
Thanks for sharing about your struggle, Ivor. That was an encouragement to me. ❤
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Remember, we’re not perfect any more, and work within our capabilities. 😊😁
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I will certainly take that to heart, Ivor! ❤
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