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Choosing Adoption, Creative Writing, Faith and Writing, Journaling, Memories, Reflections, Writing 101
Choosing Adoption
In early January of ’90 I’d been in the hospital. The morning after I got home we got a call from our lawyer. We had a court date for the adoption proceedings and no idea what to do now. The lawyer’s suggestion was to move ahead with the court appearance and see what the judge had to say about not having received that needed paperwork from India. We were awash with so many feelings. Happiness, fear, worry, not wanting to get our hopes up. Stefanie Kavitha had been with us nine months now. The thought of her ever leaving was just plain painful.
Then something strange happened. We were still sponsoring Leonardo through Compassion International and I got a phone call that same afternoon from one of the gals in the office. She said she’d just opened our payment and felt there was something very wrong.
We talked for a while and I told her I’d just had surgery, but she didn’t think that’s what it was. Then I explained what was happening with Stef’s adoption. She asked me if I cared if the office staff prayed about it (Compassion International is a Christian organization). I said I’d really appreciate it if they would. We found out a few weeks later that as soon as she hung up, they all did just that. Two hours later we got a call from Holt. India had just faxed over Stefanie’s release forms. I KNOW it was a bloomin’ miracle. So finally on January 17, 1990, Stefanie Kavitha became our legal daughter for good and always.
Our rep from Holt told us that when Pushpa had agree to our proceeding with the adoption, she had neglected to have the warrant for our arrest rescinded. Once they realized that, it was easily fixed. The rep also told us it was the messiest adoption Holt had ever handled, but that we were TRULY blessed because two days after Kavitha flew out of Bangalore, India closed its country to international adoptions. It stayed that way for a long time.
Through all the ups and downs I continued to journal. The first one I’d started when we initially contacted Holt had been filled up the night we met Kavitha at the airport. The rest of the story is recorded in my personal journal. For her 16th birthday, I gave Stef that first journal. Then I sat her down and told her the whole story of her adoption. She has since been to Bangalore with friends but chose not to try to find her mother. She said her mother was here. And though it makes me sad that she didn’t want to see Pushpa, I can’t even begin to express what her words meant to me who had wondered all through that first journal if I would be a good enough mother for her.
I’m sure some of these dates are skewed. They’re there in my journal which I’m too lazy to drag out! But I CAN say with all certainty that though that first devastation of not being able to adopt from China nearly put an end to our search for a daughter, God went right ahead and hand-picked one especially for us. He was with us every step of the way. And SHE is so much like his lordship that you’d swear they were actually father and daughter.
Today Stef is married with three adorable little boys and a baby girl on the way. She says that’s it now, but she and Jesse would like to adopt a couple more youngens before their family is done. Did I fail to mention that she is a crazy woman? 😀
Judie Sigdel said:
I believe in miracles and you certainly received one. Steph is gorgeous and so blessed to have been raised in your family. And what a beautiful family she has! I am so glad that you shared this story and that you pointed it out to me. I’m still smiling.
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calensariel said:
They’ve been living in College Park, Maryland since 2007. Jesse works for the Department of Education in D.C. They now have an 18 month old daughter, too, since that picture was taken. AND they are moving back home! We will be picking Stef and the kids up from the airport a week from tonight, and Jesse and his dad will follow with a UHaul towing their van — four bloomin’ car seats! Jesse’s going to telecommute for his job. We think it’s the right time for them to get out of Dodge. Who knows what’s going to happen there.
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Judie Sigdel said:
Hooray! I’m glad that they’re moving back home. And getting the heck out of Dodge sounds like a smart move to me.
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amileinmyshoes said:
What a rollercoaster! I’m so glad it all turned out well in the end after all the stress. What a beautiful family 🙂
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calensariel said:
To say it was a learning experience would be an understatement! 😀
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Debbie L said:
This is such a beautiful testimony! What a huge blessing our Lord had in store for you!
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calensariel said:
Thanks, Debbie. It was quite an adventure! But so worth it in the end. We thought we were going to teach her so much, but as it turned out she gave US quite the education! LOL
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Debbie L said:
Yes! That seems to be the way the Lord teaches us!
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metalflowermaker said:
Wow! What an experience, just does not sum up the push, pull, loss, agony and waiting that you have done. You have a beautiful daughter and she seems so happy to have had a great mom like you, Calen!
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calensariel said:
Believe me, we were the lucky ones. Our family would have seemed incomplete without her. Now we have three gorgeous grandsons and a beautiful, two-week old baby granddaughter who we get to go see in September. That’s the bad part. Seeing them only once or twice a year…
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lucydanvers said:
I read your previous post, and I had not forgotten what you had written, so I am so pleased you wrote the next part because I have been wondering ever since what ever did happen. It is such a relief to hear that everything worked out okay, and it is so special that you two have such an amazing bond. Loved the pictures as they added a personal touch.
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calensariel said:
Thanks for stopping by and reading, Lucy. I get a little nervous about putting pictures up on there ’cause I KNOW they go straight to the internet. But they did make the article more real. I’m glad you liked it.
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Fimnora Westcaw said:
I just finally stopped holding my breath. But what a harrowing experience! She is beautiful! I LOVE the picture of you and her hugging! Wonderful!
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calensariel said:
Well, it was a crappy picture of me but a great pix of Stef. And yes, she sure is beautiful. Glad you liked it.
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rhcwilliams said:
Wow! What a gauntlet you had to go through. I’ve always said I tip my hat to any woman who chooses to raise more than one child. I did “one and done.” You can’t see it, but I”m tipping my virtual hat to you, Lady Calen! Well-done.
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calensariel said:
You know, I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything though. We really had to struggle to learn how you decide what’s best for another human being. That was pretty scary!
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Colleen Keehne said:
I always knew were one brave and compassionate woman!
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calensariel said:
Naw… That’d be YOU the way you attack that gym every day! You’re STILL my hero, girlfriend!
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Ginny Wilcox said:
Crazy women are the best! Thank you for sharing
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calensariel said:
Thank you for reading, Ginny!
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