, , , , ,

Lion kingGrudges, I’ve learned, are a total waste of time and they just plain wear me out emotionally. Now that’s not to say I haven’t been known to CARRY grudges for a while, but the reason has usually been because I’m scared of any resulting confrontation with the same person.

There was a gal at church who was a bit prickly like the pinecone I wrote about last week. She was never happy unless she was running someone down. For the most part I just ignored her. I figured the reason people do that is to build themselves up, so she must really dislike herself.

Then one day I ran into her in a store and we were talking, and all of a sudden she started in on me. Now maybe she’d just had a bad day that day, I don’t know. But I had recently gone through some things that had taken me out of a place where I felt pretty confident to being FULL of self-doubt. Her little tirade left me shattered and teary.

After all these years I can’t even remember what it was. But her barely submerged anger scared the bloomin’ h*ll out of me. She was NOT one of those people who you wanted to be on their bad side! And somehow I had gotten there. I spent the next year turning and running the other way every time I saw her coming at church. I didn’t want to get bludgeoned again! But after awhile I just got tired of carrying that burden, and I began talking to her again.

That was 32 years ago. She just recently had to have her hubby placed in a VA home because of dementia, so I stopped by her place to see how she was doing. You know, the woman STILL to this day intimidates me. But there were no bad feelings. Over the course of that year I had let the whole thing go and forgiven her, but we were never the good friends we once were.

It was a waste of a good friendship. I do my best not to hold grudges anymore. They weigh me down and make me feel bad about myself. It’s so much easier to let things wash over me when I can and just get on with my life.

* * * * * 

Do you hold grudges or do you believe in forgive and forget?