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blogging101, Creative Writing, Family, Journaling, Memories & Reflections, Valentines Day, Writing 101, Writing Prompts
The first year of marriage is such a learning experience… Our first Valentine’s Day turned out to be quite a fiasco because of my romantic impatience and Drollery’s inability to communicate well.
It was a Wednesday. Despite working all day, I had bought Drollery a Valentine’s gift and planned a surprise dinner complete with steak and candlelight. (That was the year I found out his lordship doesn’t like to EAT by candlelight ’cause he can’t see what he’s eating!)
He stumbled in from work a bit late and I was all excited to give him his gift, a hand-tooled leather wallet. We sat down to eat (after turning the overhead lights on) and during dessert (chocolate cake with cherry frosting) I gave him his present. He loved it and thanked me profusely several times. And then I waited…
And waited…
And waited…
…for MY Valentine’s gift.
But Drollery just went on eating his dessert. After a few minutes I naturally figured he was going to surprise me with it later. So I pretended to be laid back about it. And I waited…
And waited…
And waited…
…until time to go to bed. Nothing. I was so hurt. Not a word from him about a present. My hurt turned into anger and my thought was (bet you guessed!), “Well if he thinks there’s going to be a roll in the hay tonight HE has another think coming!” I went to bed and went to sleep.
And the next morning I cried and cried until he asked me what was wrong. Honestly, men can be so dense sometimes (sorry, Drollery). After I’d cried AND hollered AND accused the poor man of not caring that I was hurt, he finally explained to me that there WAS something he was getting me for Valentine’s Day, but he didn’t have the money to get it until Friday, payday.
I was still hurt because he hadn’t bothered to explain the night before, but I calmed down and apologized for having a meltdown. (Unfortunately that set up a pattern in our relationship of me taking on the blame for his poor communication skills — which we’re still working on…)
More than yesterday, less than tomorrow…
Friday evening he came home bearing THE gift. And it was beautiful. It was a laser carved, acrylic Rondell. It’s kind of hard to see in the picture (even with a dark book behind it), but the words say More than yesterday, less than tomorrow. And I started bawling all over again.
It was a difficult holiday for us. We started to learn about communication that day, and I suppose that was the best gift of all. I can’t say we have it all sorted out yet, even after nearly 44 years of marriage, but it’s definitely better and we continue to learn. What I can say is that I was so humbled by the beautiful gift he gave me that it took me years to get over the embarrassment. In fact, not a Valentine’s Day rolls around that I don’t relive that first one. Sometimes, I’ve found, growing and maturing can be preceded by a lot of hurt feelings and stupidity… But I reckon those are the kinds of lessons one never forgets!
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THEDAILYPOST Nov 28, 2015
DAILY PROMPT: Humble Pie
Tell us about a time you found out after the fact that you’d been mistaken and you had to eat a serving of humble pie.
Impromptu Promptlings 
I don’t remember most of our Valentine’s Days, but one in particular stands out. We had lost hot water in the house, and were waiting for a replacement heating element, and we went to a Macrotel just so we could shower, but it sure made for a really nice Valentine’s Day. 🙂
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😀 How fortunate that it happened ON Valentine’s Day!
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It actually happened a couple of days before. Cold water in the sink doesn’t quite make it as a way to feel clean, though I realize that back in the old days, there was a pitcher and basin, and that was it for morning wake and clean up. Brrrrr.
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Our first Valentines day together, my husband was not working and had no money. Not to be perturbed by that though, he walked around the neighbourhood ‘picking’ flowers to make a bouquet to give me. I will always remember that.
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I wonder how many other people remember their first Valentines Day together fondly. 🙂 That was lovely of him. He’s a keeper. Oh yeah! You DID keep him! LOL
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I sure did, but the flowers have been few and far between since then. Oh well, at least he’s good for other things, like holding my hand, standing beside me, and helping me up when I fall over. 🙂
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Or rescuing you on the trail during your first bushwalking incident!!!
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Oh yes, that too 🙂
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Actually, that’s a very sweet story, especially as you are telling it after four decades of marriage. We all make mistakes when we’re young and when our relationships are young. If we’re lucky and we really did make the right choice of partner, the mistakes become lessons learned.
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That’s a very good point. The hard part is staying open to the lessons. That’s where most relationships struggle, I think.
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I almost think it’s something we, as women, are born with. Kind of “I’ll take the blame” gene. Hubby and I still have some communication issues, but then I also think marriage is always a work in progress. Great post GF!
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Well, I know a couple marriages where the shoe is on the other foot. Maybe our culture predisposes women to be more prone to that. At least in our generation?
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No way, it’s always his fault! 😀
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LOL!
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The thing that struck me most about this illuminating post was… chocolate cake with cherry frosting. It’s not that I’m heartless or shaollow, or that I think through my stomach, but that just sounds so good.
Can I have some please?
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Absolutely! The humble pie I was eating for a week or so didn’t taste nearly as good! LOL
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Humble pie sticks to your mouth like sawdust…
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Communication…that’s a biggie, one that that was absent in my first marriage…my ex and I never learned how to talk to each other….he expected me to be a mind reader, and I was just always closed off to him because every time I opened my mouth there was a put down included in his response. It’s a main ingredient in my marriage now, not much gets lost in translation with Hubby and I 😄😄
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Yep. It’s THE biggie in marriage or any relationship, isn’t it… Drollery still struggles with being able to express himself. Me? Not so much, as you can probably gather from my posts! My delivery required the most work!
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I’ve had a similar experience with my husband. Few men understand how big a meaning this kind of thing can have for a woman and that they should at least hint at it if they’re planning a big surprise…. I guess it’s just a present for them, but to us it’s proof of their love and commitment.
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Yes, that’s really true. But also, it takes a lot of years of marriage or a long-term relationship to learn that sometimes presents can be given that don’t really mean that at all. They’re just things. That’s the other side of that coin, I found out years later…
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Very nice.
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Still makes me feel like an ass now and then… 😦
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We all have experiences like that, it’s a part of growing as a person and as a couple.
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