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blogging101, Creative Writing, Faith and Writing, Journaling, Lent 2016, Memories & Reflections, Poetry, Quotes, Writing 101, Writing Prompts
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Lent Photo-A-Day (February 10 – March 27, 2016)
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Day 7 — Wilderness
The theme of “wilderness” is a faith subject I’m very familiar with. In 1980, on the verge of going to court to adopt our daughter Stefanie, we were unexpectedly hit with a financial reversal that could have had us packing Stef back off to India after her being with us for nearly a year. It was only by the grace of God that our court date for the adoption came one week before.
I know in my heart there was some kind of divine intervention on our behalf at that moment and was deeply grateful. But in the following eight months when we struggled and struggled to stay afloat as Drollery looked for another job, I began to question my faith. We had “played by the Book” (so to speak) all our married life, and now, after depleting what savings we had, it seemed we were doomed to take out bankruptcy. WHY would God do that to us?
Then it got worse. Drollery’s employer came BACK to him and said the CPA they had hired to replace him couldn’t do the job, would he consider coming back to work — for less than half the salary… I really thought we’d been thrown into a pit. And I became so angry with God I almost walked away from my faith.
That incident has left me in a constant state of flux where my faith is concerned. I feel as if I’ve been wandering mostly aimlessly for the past 25 years. The only thing that has keep me going is that every now and then a wellspring will bubble up on my journey to remind me that God is still there.
So while I’ve had a lot of desert experiences (as portrayed by the mountains in the background of this picture), I’ve also kept my eyes on the streams of grace that have flowed through my life. The faith struggles continue and the journey goes on, but I keep treading sand and fording streams. And I believe whole-heartedly that in order for our faith to grow, we have to grapple with what it means to live it out in our lives.
Wilderness is not a luxury
but a necessity of the human spirit.
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Edward Abbey`
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Life is a wilderness of twists and turns,
where faith is your only compass.
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Paul Santaguida
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Current
Like a gentle rippling brook
whose flow is nearly indiscernible,
the current of God moves
through our lives
and carries us to
our next meeting with destiny,
its motion so subtle
that if we’re not attentive
we might mistake its direction
for choices of our own…
~Calen
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Picture Credit: www.treadlightly.org
Walking My Path: Mindful Wanderings in Nature said:
Beautiful pictures, and I love your poem. Man! Hard times!!
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calensariel said:
Yes, it was. But despite my anger, faith did pull us through. The Bible says that faith is one of the gifts from God. Not everyone’s is the same. I’m still trying to figure out what mine is all about… Thanks, Mary, for your comments. I’m glad we journey this path together.
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Walking My Path: Mindful Wanderings in Nature said:
Me too, Calen. ❤
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annacottage said:
Yes it has been an emotional year for me, I have “woken up” and looking to life, I wasn’t aware I had probs apart from pain, just as you have. I can’t explain what has happened fully but its great and for the first time I am looking ahead to making what is left matter. As for SF all that is worrying me is being on my own and violence, but it could happen here.
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calensariel said:
You know, if you stick to the touristy stuff, you won’t have to worry about violence. We hardly ever hear anything of that sort coming from SF. Perhaps you’re worrying unnecessarily?
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annacottage said:
Thank you Cheryl, that has put my mind as rest I can’t tell you. I am booking this week for Hotel, trips etc.
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Fimnora Westcaw said:
I love your poem! (and your pictures! There’s an exquisite wilderness in it).
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calensariel said:
LOL For I minute I thought you said “wildness” and I got all excited and wanted to shout “Finally I’m a wild woman!” LMBO Now who would have expected THAT reaction??? 😀
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Fimnora Westcaw said:
It could be looked at in the same vein (vain?) maybe. wilderness always implies, for me, wildness, so YES!
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teamjacksonadventures said:
Powerful. My husband was unemployed for a year and a half and he’s our primary breadwinner. Been there. So hard. That’s how we ended up moving. 😌 have to believe there is a bigger plan for us. Hard to keep faith day to day though.
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calensariel said:
It wears you out sometimes, doesn’t it? 😦
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teamjacksonadventures said:
Unfortunately it does. 😌
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Colette B said:
‘…the streams of grace that have flowed through my life…’ Wow, what a beautiful moment in the wilderness – and then the poem too! Great picture and fantastic quotes – it’s like reading a page a day of a very good book, one I would wish to return to and contemplate over and again 🙂
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calensariel said:
Well if you’re getting something out of these, then doing this was SO worth it! ❤
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Colette B said:
I’m sure I’m not the only one 🙂 Hopefully they are good for you too, most of all – and as enjoyable for you to make as they are to read 🙂
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spiritualdragonfly said:
Love the poem C!!! Your timing is impeccable. I’ll be ‘borrowing’ it and adding it to my vision board ❤️🙏
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calensariel said:
It’s an older one, but I’ve always been fond of it. Seemed to go with the picture. 🙂
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ruthlakes said:
What a beautiful poem – one I can really feel.
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calensariel said:
Thanks, Ruth. I apologize for not stopping by this past week or so. I finally had to just put a lot of folks I follow in the Reader and I’m not doing a great job of keeping up. I hope all is going well with your plans for your book?
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ruthlakes said:
No worries – I’ve not been so hot myself at keeping up lately – life and work get in the way 😕 I’m working on Part 2 – have a large block of time identified for the weekend ☺
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annacottage said:
I am not sure if I am supposed to answer here but I read all you said and just wanted you to know God never leaves you, I know sometimes I think he has gone from me, but NO He is always there, always, even for lapsed Catholics. Keep Faith with Him, please.
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calensariel said:
You know what, Anna? You’re not a lapsed anything. You’re a believer. You’re working your faith out in your life the same way we all are. Maybe at some point you will be called back to a community of believers, but in the meantime your faith is still alive in your heart whether you go to church or not. I don’t believe sitting in a church makes you a believer any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. So just keep listening for that still, small whisper… As for me, I’m not going any where. As Peter said in John 6:68: “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” ❤
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annacottage said:
Thank you for that, it means so much. God is and has always been a part of my life. I could not imagine life without him just like not having the boys. I pray to him every night and I know he listens. It is strange but since the beginning of this year so much has happened to me emotionally and I do believe knowing you has made me even closer to Our Lord. Just as I know the brightest Star in the sky is from the ones you love the most.
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calensariel said:
This has been an extremely emotional year for you, dear heart. I haven’t answered your email yet (Lordy! I’m so far behind again!), but I want to say that if all the planning for your vacation is stressing you out, that stress could be contributing to some of the problems you’re having at the moment. You SHOULD take a few weeks off and let things simmer on the back burner for a bit. You may find some inspiration in the meantime! {{{Anna}}} ❤
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calensariel said:
And if knowing me has brought you any encouragement or comfort about God, then I am so glad. I’m always afraid my honesty about my own faith struggles is going to push someone away. So I’m blessed to hear you say that. 🙂
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