There and Back Again

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blogging101, Family, Humor, Journaling, Reflections, Uncategorized, Writing 101

We’re back from Maryland… And it looks like this will be our last trip there as our son-in-law Jesse has been given permission to telecommute from Utah for his project manager job with the Department of Education (provided Trump doesn’t close that department down!). As of yesterday it looks like our daughter Stef and Co. will be relocated to Utah by the end of February. Having lived in such a diverse society for ten years now, I’m SURE this is going to be a HUGE adjustment for them. Things move at a much s-l-o-w-e-r pace here! And I KNOW it’s going to be a HUGE adjustment for us. We are NOT used to the chaos that surrounds four kids under seven!

So it was good to visit one more time. The only issue I had — yes, you’re actually hearing this — is flying first class! Drollery had said everyone ought to do it at least once and this might be our last chance, so we did! Did I enjoy it? I LOVED the extra leg room. I LOVED being able to get on and off the plane first. And I actually LOVED getting a real meal instead of peanuts, Biscoff cookies, pretzels, and soft drinks.

But that whole meal thing is where the problem started. First thing the flight attendants did was bring around hot wash cloths for us. Seriously, it made me think there was something wrong with me because sometimes I don’t wash my hands before I eat. (Truthfully I didn’t know if it was for your hands or a mini-bath!) I passed on the wash cloth and got an odd look from not only the attendant, but Drollery! (HE loves to play dress up and pretend A LOT! That’s why he likes cruises.)

Next thing I knew, here they came with a table cloth for that teeny tiny tray you pull out from between the seats. A tablecloth? REALLY? I thought that was a little overkill. By then I was starting to feel very uncomfortable. The meal, when it came (breakfast on one flight, dinner on the other), did NOT taste like any kind of airline food I’ve ever had. A perfectly balanced and proportioned meal. It was delicious. The problem was, on both flights we sat in the last first-class row and there was no curtain behind us. Just a NET that wasn’t pulled across anyway.

Needless to say, the whole time I was sitting there eating I felt like everyone in the plane was watching us and thinking what snobs we were! It made the meal a bit less enjoyable. It was all I could do to not offer my salad to the woman who sat behind me on the way home. (rolls eyes… I guess I was NOT born to have money — which explains a lot! LOL)

Flying out was uneventful as I was on my Chromebook most of the time. (I left my good earphones on the plane in one of the pockets. That was very upsetting. I loved those earphones!) But coming home I was in crappy shape. My daughter’s ten-year-old mattress had taken a toll on me and I couldn’t quite get upright. I looked a little like cro-magnon woman with my arms dragging on the ground.

So Drollery invented a “mindfulness” game to keep me occupied (since watching my main man Tom Selleck in “Quigley Down Under” was stopping every few seconds to buffer on my Chromebook). There were some interesting people in first-class. Much more so than coach! The guy in front of us was on his phone the whole time looking at pictures of girls and making reservations at brothels in Las Vegas! He kept turning to look at Drollery to see if he was watching..😀 He was!

The guy across the aisle from us seemed to think he was a real Indiana Jones. He had the leather jacket and the hat, but it was too small to pull down on his head. And he sat with his coat in his lap the entire time. When he got up to go use the toity his britches were unzipped. We figured he must have been busy under that coat!!!. We also took bets on how many times the gal in the first row would get up and open the overhead bin, since she seemed to enjoy that a great deal. Drollery won with five.

When I told Brandon how the flight attendant seemed to think I was a bit odd for turning down the wash cloth and all the free drinks, he just laughed and said they probably figured we were from “new money.” Whatever that means… So no more first class for us. I can pack a mean lunch, and the Comfort Plus seats right behind first still gives us extra room. All I can say is I was sure glad to get home, and I agree with Dorothy 100%!

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Picture Sources:
The Kids — moi
Delta Plane — Business Pundit
First Class — flight-report.com
Snob! — www.playbuzz.com
Dorothy gif — Giphy