The first part of this assignment was to commit to writing at least 15 minutes a day. Not a problem for me because I’m ALWAYS writing! Just ask his lordship. The other part was a bit more difficult. We were to pick THREE songs that had been important in our life and write about them. I finally settled on choosing three that held the strongest memories for me. That narrowed the field A LOT! So here goes…
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The first song I have a specific memory of is The Three Bells by The Browns (Jim Ed, Maxine, and Bonnie). The song was also commonly known as Little Jimmy Brown. It was about Jimmy Brown who lived in a small “village hidden deep in a valley” and how the church bells rang on all the important days of his life. His birth, his marriage, his death; and how the little congregation always gathered to pray “for guidance from above.”
I can’t say for certain why I became so fond of the song, but what I DO remember is that it was released in 1959 when I was eight. Every payday dad would take our family to a place called The Hot Dog Stand for supper. The first thing I’d do when we’d go in was head for the jukebox with my nickle to play that song. I remember that place like it was yesterday. Fifty six years later it’s still there but closed down. And after all these years hearing that song can still bring it all back to me. I can smell the foot long hot dogs, taste the mustard, hear that music, and see my family gathered round that table.
The second song is one I fell in love with listening to Billy Graham crusades on TV when I was young. Just As I Am. For some reason even as a young child it made me cry. But it came to play an important part in my life years later.
His lordship and I had tried for six years to start a family. Finally, finally, IT happened. We were over the moon. Unfortunately it wasn’t our time yet and I lost the baby. For weeks I was horribly depressed and emotional about it all feeling it was somehow our fault because we’d spent a lot of time arguing about whether to bless, baptize, or christen the baby when it was born. We were not of the same religious persuasion then. I cried all the time, even at work. And one day I was so distraught my boss told me to take the rest of the day off.
I found myself wondering around at the library in the religion section, of all places. A section I never looked through. It had been years since I’d darkened the door of a church. There was a paperback book about eye-level on one of the shelves just ready to fall off. I started to push it back in but pulled it out instead when I noticed the title. It was Just As I Am by Eugenia Price. The book was about what the song meant to her, about how we can only come to God as we are because we’ll never be perfect. The message the book conveyed was exactly what I needed to heal me of the guilt I had misguidedly been carrying around. And, more importantly, it enabled me to trust God again, just as I was. Three months later I was pregnant.
The words of the last song also hit me where I live. It is The Rose by Bette Midler. It described everything I’d been afraid to do in my life. I was afraid of having a broken heart, of dancing, and dreaming, of dying, and being vulnerable. But despite all that, the last verse that gave me hope.
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed that with the sun’s love
In the spring becomes the rose
That song, too, came to mean something very special to me. My mother’s name was Rose. She passed away in October of 1998. On what would have been her birthday in January, I’d gone to the florist’s to buy roses for her grave. While I was there I bought some for my younger sister who was really struggling that day. But by the time I got out to the car I was in full pity party mode. I was struggling, too, but I never let anyone see. I found myself thinking it would be so nice if someone did just notice that I was hurting, as much as my sister.
I got in the car and started her up, and a song was just coming on the radio. It was the Conway Twitty version of The Rose. And I sat there and cried because I knew at least God cared how I felt. Cared enough to dedicate a song to me. I got a rose that day, too.
The thing that struck me as I wrote this piece just now is that all three of these songs have to do with the eternal in some way. The Three Bells talked about life lived in a church community. Just As I Am was definitely about learning to be who just who I am before God. And The Rose reminded me that no matter how hopeless I might feel things are in my life, God is always mindful of me, and that in the eternal spring, he will make it all better. This has been a thought provoking little exercise!
Umber said:
I have not heard Just as I am and The Rose but the story of your journey with these is enthralling and it makes me want to look them up.
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calensariel said:
You haven’t heart The Rose? My gosh!. I’ll put a post up with these three songs on it today. Guess I should have done that on the post anyway.
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Umber said:
Thankyou😊 that would be nice.
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Fimnora Westcaw said:
I don’t know the 2nd song, but will look for it on YT. But The Little Jimmy Brown song, always makes me cry! And it’s not necessarily a sad song, because he lived a full and happy life. But it still makes me cry.
The Rose, so honest a song, that speaks to me on a very deep level. Also cried listening to it. I feel like I’ve been peeling onions with the number of times today I’ve cried.
But I do find your thoughts, and your journies through these songs to be cathartic. And everything happens at the time in which it happens, so that book was just waiting for you to come by on that day.
Beautifully written, as always. I so love stopping by here, even when I leave with tears in my eyes, because I know I’m still alive, and can feel, and that a tender hearted friend is showing me how to do that. So thank you.
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calensariel said:
Ah gee, girlfriend. Thanks bunches. I hope others can connect with it. The world works in mysterious ways!
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Clare said:
Hi Calen,
The Rose is full of beautiful, powerful words. I can see how it easily has such an effect on you. Every mother should be called Rose, but then, by any other name, she would still be as sweet. My mother loved roses. Mr Lincoln was her favourite and I cannot gaze upon a red rose without thinking of her, sometimes with a smile, often with a tear.
Clare
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calensariel said:
Yes, The Rose is really a cautionary tale when you come right down to it. I think these words:
It’s the one who won’t be taken
Who cannot seem to give
People are so afraid to let themselves be “taken” these days by letting their guard down with people. And so they never learn to give back. I really think that’s the saddest part of the song.
Thanks for reading it, Clare. I gotta get over to the commons and do some reading. I read about four pieces this morning and fell asleep at the computer!
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Fimnora Westcaw said:
Okay, before I read your post, I just gotta comment here, because I missed the bus totally on this one. When I first read, about the 3 songs, I thought, oh cool, more music. But then I looked closer at the info… Here is the beginning of what we all got:
Today’s Prompt: Write about the three most important songs in your life — what do they mean to you?
“Nailing Brahms’ Hungarian Dance Number 5 on your alto sax. Making perfect pulled pork tacos. Drawing what you see. Or, writing a novel. Each requires that you make practice a habit.”
Right in that sentence, I’m not seeing writing about songs, but writing about that something in life that is most important. What’s the ‘making perfect pulled pork tacos? Or Drawing what you see, or writing a novel? I thought it was about the songs but then I got thrown off, so I moved on to the free writing thing, and ranted full out, because I missed something. BUT it seems everyone else felt it was about the songs. I figured I’m come here for a reality check first before going to Michelle, who I’ve never had much success with since Blogging101. I may have to write a second post, about music… and what a hardship that would be NOT, LOL
Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope! 🙂
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calensariel said:
I think she just got her thoughts out of order in the assignment post. The stuff about the tacos, sax, etc.was meant for the 15 minutes writing habit. I think there were actually TWO assignments on this one — and maybe that’s how it’ll be with the others. But I think a lot of people had that same question. No doubt others have swamped her by now. I figured you were just doing the 15 minute thing. But it says you can do all or one or none when you do the class. So I wouldn’t sweat it. Your stream of consciousness stuff just kills me and makes me laugh right out loud!
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platosgroove said:
Very insightful, wise, and sweet. I love when you are in your zone. My mother’s middle name was rose too.
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calensariel said:
Are your folks still here, P?
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platosgroove said:
Momma died when I was 18-19. Daddy is still here but we don’t talk much
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calensariel said:
Sorry bout your mamma. And your daddy. One hurts one way, the other hurts another. ❤
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platosgroove said:
Its good. Im the daddy now. 🙂
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calensariel said:
Well, if you ever need a mamma to come kick the neighbor kid’s butt for teasing you, I’m about the right age! 😀 Just give me a holler.
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platosgroove said:
I know you would too
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calensariel said:
Damn straight. I’d even wear my cowboy boots to get the point across… 😉
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platosgroove said:
🙂
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Donna C. Terrell said:
Love this! It’s great that you can actually pinpoint 3 songs. You have a wry sense of humor. I’m commenting here because I’ll probably never find my way back to it on The Commons! Good luck with the rest of the challenges.
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calensariel said:
Thanks, Donna, for taking the time to give it a read. Yeah, how does a person pick three favorite songs out of hundreds? Narrowing it down to something experiential sure made it a lot easier!
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Ginny Wilcox said:
Beautiful! Beautifully written and beautifully felt. Thank you
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calensariel said:
Thanks, Ginny, for stopping by to read. I hope to see lots of interesting pieces from this assignment. Love getting inside someone’s head and knowing what they’re feeling.
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patchworkrainbows said:
What a fantastic story! X
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calensariel said:
Thanks for reading it. Seems I have better luck when I stick with real life rather than fiction. NO imagination! 🙂 Thanks for stopping by and reading.
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americangirlinwales said:
Beautiful. The Rose is one of my favourites too.
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calensariel said:
That was one of those songs that I felt like was talking about me. I guess there are enough of us out there afraid to step out in faith that the song has become almost a beacon of hope. Thanks for stopping by this morning.
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